Pussyfierz First Club Event ~ THE LAST CAT STANDING ~ pAU (Audition Dance Battle Philippines)
April 1, 2007 Undaground Server Channel 15 4PM
Do you have what it takes?
...I doubt my own ability here x__x
I'm going against a list of some of the toughest Kitties:
pussyfierRIC
pussyfierRIZ
pussyfierVOX
pussyfierPMJ
pussyfierTON
pussyfierZAT
pussyfierMEI <- me x_x
pussyfierCIS
pussyfierDEV
Certified umaw-mamaws.
I never should've gone for First Place if I knew the battle outline sooner. So unfair. -_- FU said "Maybe God put you there coz He knows you can manage"... Great... now I CAN'T back out. *_*
In other news, I went into another survey-answering spree early today, I think I used up 3 hours just answering those. LOL. Ansaya! Wahaha.. Just idling away the morning before I enter the dance floor. I had to hurry a bit since I wanted to reach Clubber status today, and I did. With a lil' help from Merwin and his army of PC's (teewai Mer! :3) and with reinforcement (without S) from Evespring, I got the required EXP for Licence by 7AM. But my mom already yelled for me to stop XD
I got Eve to finish up the remaining 800 points, but she didn't read my message that I wanted to take the Licence myself. No souvenir... no video... no replay... WAAAAAH! x_x" So now MEI's a certified Clubber. Yay~~ xDD Eve licenced her. Not so yay~~ @_@;;
I'm actually chatting with FU and WIL right now in a confe and calming myself down... I'll be singing Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance in a few minutes, so hopefully that can calm my nerves. Tomorrow I'll play my DEPAPEPE playlist and just relax, waiting for 4PM. Maybe that'll work too...
Wish me luck guys. Domo arigatou gozaimasu. Whatever happens, everyone's already a winner... I never expected to make it to the semi-finals at all... ~_~;
Paula Carlyn Lopez y Legazpi March 31, 1990 - March 18, 2007
a.k.a.
IGN: cArLyNa
I will postpone my UPLB updates to give way for this one update. They can wait... Besides, HL hasn't given me a copy of our EB pic. ~_~
~*~*~
Currently Playing: Jewellery - Tonight
I first met her on Audition last month, probably around the same time I met rebkev. She was such a sweet girl. I could tell she was really kind. But I don't think we started out too good kasi she was somewhat aloof o.O knowing me, I'd still pursue of course. She warmed up to me later on so I guess that wasn't a waste of effort. ^_^
Days passed and we haven't been in much contact with each other. We see each other's characters in-game sometimes, but we seldom chat because she has her own group, and I have mine. Despite this, there was this small spark I sense when we see each other, a hint of a deep-rooted friendship. (well, I was hoping ^^)
-insert- No, this isn't shoujo ai. BUZZ OFF. -insert-
Around March 10 and the days after that, I heard and read stuff about rebkev, the guy I thought was her (in-game) boyfriend. I won't go into detail since I don't much about it myself. That's when I saw her post in the Pussyfierz thread. Alas, my name was there. O_O
Reduced size of her post
She remembered me! ^_^ It was only then I found out she's been going in and out of the hospital for a heavy reason. So I added her on my YM and the next day, we got to chat. (kulit na bata, gumagamit pa ng PC sa hospital kahit bawal)
...just a part of our last talk.
-insert- Been talking to WIL at this part of my post. As he logged out a tear fell on my lips and I tasted it. Salty ~_~ -insert-
I really didn't know it would be the last time I'd be able to talk to her. If I did, sana nilubos lubos ko na. I could've encouraged her more. To hang on and trust the Lord to extend her life.
I regret not being able to be a better friend to her.
March 22, 2007; 11PM I told Mecky that I'm about to have my last dance for the night. I was feeling sleepy and rather tired from the events of the day. I spent the first half of the day at UPLB, literally walking my papers. ~_~ I got home tired but accomplished. (I'll blog about this next time.) When I played, I got accussed of being a botter by an Amateur named howerr, and being at the level he/she is at, the rest of the people in the room assumed the same thing. Last I heard of him/her, he/she was still preaching about me being a bot. "Pussyfier pa man din... kahiya"
While at the lobby, Mecky told me to make the room, so I did, and I named it "last dance ~_~", he was even surprised that it had to be Couple Dance Mode. (ayaw mo? sows, gusto mo rin~ *grin* [joke~]) It took us a few minutes of waiting and inviting to proceed to dancing, and it just happened that I invited momoshiro09 because we lacked one guy to make 2 couples.
Momo asked me if anyone was piloting my character last Sunday. I told him no, I don't have pilots (and for me to entrust my account to a pilot would have a very big reason behind it). Then he asked me "alam nyo na po ba yung tungkol kay carlyna?"
I have a bad feeling about this. I tried to reason out with my brain and just said "inde. hanu? tungkol ba sa kanila ni rebkev?" "No," he said, "she passed away last Sunday"
...
Shock. And Disappointment.
I was in Denial of everything in my head for about two minutes. I felt Anger because of people who never made her life (even virtual life) any easier. Regret, because of a lot of things...
For a while there I didn't know what to do... until I saw the girl (mejcris) standing on the platform, waiting for the game to start. I said, "Momo, can you come down?"
In-game my hands were just pressing keys of their own accord until I realized they were having trouble with Chance. Talk about possessed. I didn't miss a turn, not even once, during this dance. Mecky did, just once. Rare feat. ~_~
[Edit: I watched the replay again. I turned Chance off pala even before the 2nd turn. I just remembered I was too disturbed to think of the opposite direction. ~_~ And I noticed Mecky didn't use Chance either. *sigh*]
Mecky and I were really depressed by the news. Know what?
The room title... the unintentional invitation... the bad news... the dance and the result... Sis, did you mean to tell me more? About what?
...Or is this your doing, Uri?
I think I've had too much of divine intervention all my life. I can't think straight about this anymore... ~_~
Carlyn, ...I just wish we had the chance to meet earlier than this. For all we know, I may have passed by you when I walked the streets of Los Baños. We might've had a common friend.
You could've had me as a big sister. ~_~
Alas, God decided to call you back early. Seems He needs you to be in Heaven sooner than we thought. ~_~
Sana nababasa mo to. I miss you sis. I really do. :'(
**Last night I cried for about 30 minutes. I don't know. I just fell asleep holding my phone, halfway into composing a message for EDZ. I cried again today. ~_~**
Audition won't work on my server PC tonight so I decided to uninstall/re-install it. I didn't know the stupid uninstaller program would erase my replays AND screenshots along with the wretched program files. DAMNIT!!!
Look at those post dates. I've been busy since... wha? End of February? Too busy to post something new in this old blog. Poor bloggie. Here let mommie hug ya.. *hugs blog*
I've really been busy mainly because HS graduation's coming up, and the typing jobs just... kept piling in. In addition to that, MEI was assigned Club Forum Moderator, but the job's more than that now. When I started, it's just the club thread I was concerned with. Now I'm like the head of the HR Department, being a PR person for some people involved in issues, and have recently been called Edz' adviser by... Edz herself. Err. **blinks**
I think too much, huh? ...so now you know you're not the only one... *stares into space*
Mei: And I thought you were fed up with your previous job? Now you're at it again~ ^^
...yes, Mei just laughs at me and my melancholy. Sometimes, I guess I'm just too nosy. T_T
Cherry or Strawberry? Earlier today I launched into survey mode, sending IM's to people asking this. 7PM and survey says:
Cherry - 7 Strawberry - 11 Undecided - 2
I'm still waiting for other people's responses ^^ I have to get a new lip balm soon... my poor lips keeps cracking at the oddest times, and summer's here too. >.>
I just hope they quit the side comments like "If you still can't decide, I'll donate my lips to you", "'lika dito, kiss ko yan" or "ako na lang magbabasa para sayo", I mean... WTF! Pffbt. -_-
...okay so it's kinda cute depending on who says it, but puh-lease. -_-;; (only applies to the 2nd comment)
On being single Dudes, I never realized being single also had its downsides until a few days ago. You get a lot more hoots and remarks from guys. Even if it's just an online game. Friendster hoarding comments and testimonials of the sort... just leaving 'em there though, most of them that is. x_x
I'm beginning to think that more girls have to PLAY online games. These guys seem to think the only girls in this world are those who PLAY online games. -_- (redundancy galore!)
The side comments above, they're just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure I'd be getting more soon. Pero wag naman sana...
People nowadays sure have weird taste. o.O
The "new" look? Nothing much is new with the way I look. Really. Just longer hair that kinda sticks up at the end (I usually use a hair clamp) and I now wear my gold Italy cross pendant everywhere, and take it off only before my shower/bath. Oh yeah, pale skin is in. XD
Staying up late almost every night takes its toll on me sometimes, but so far the only seemingly permanent effect it had on me is my sickly pale skin. LOL. This is prolly what scared the COMELEC people last year, when I passed my form for my voting rights. *ROFL*
See? I'm old enough to vote! So why are people mistaking me for... a high school student? Flattering as it sounds, it's not too helpful where legality is concerned. Policemen might mistake me for a minor. ~_~ It's funny staying up late doesn't make me look any older. Wtf?
15 years old. The youngest estimate of my age by far. Passed by eagleman. Nice one~~ @_@
Audition Madness I am officially addicted to the game now. Did I say that I bought indefinite items worth 600+? T_T ok lang, it's my club uniform ^^ and the 600 didn't come from my pocket, nor my wallet. It's part of my mod allowance. Thanks Mobius! Mmmwaaaahh!! XD
Ay. Ginamit ko allowance ko to buy stuff on an online game distributed by a rival company. Lol?
So anyway! This is Part 1 of the long-delayed Audition post! Nyahahahaha! Starts from when I started my life as pussyfierMEI. ^^
First Licence @ Level 5 going 6 (wala pa costume XD) [02-13-07]
First Hug (02-16) & First Kiss (02-17)
A. First Meeting with P4, aka Pasaway4 (Evespring, pussyfierXIV & zetsu23) [02-16-07] B. One-on-One BuM game with CripAh, kabado mode XD [02-16-07] C. First Battle Party Loss (tingnan nyo naman score amp!) [02-17-07]
White Team in Couple Dance? WAHAHA~ Nag-apir lang yan. Sabay sabi ni zet... kay... ano? O_O (02-17-07)
A. First BBoy game with P4, tingnan nyo score! XD (02-17-07) B. The fight over cookies? (02-17-07)
Yung sa cookies, kasi... inggit si eagleman eh, WAHAHAHAHHA XD inaalok ko lang naman, sabay "baka makagat kita" huhuhuhu! T_T puro chain nga pala to~
Yellow - Blocked an attack Red - Failed to block an attack, no score for that turn. Blue - Attack Success Green - Attack Failed
* info from Ceres
Matching chain sa Couple Dance (02-18-07)*akmang sisipain si zet nyahaha*
Ganda na sana ng Bonus Game, kaso Cool song eh T_T (02-21-07)
Two times tambak si Zest-O saken sa 1-2 Party, kaya ayun, bumawi sa Sync-8 XD Read the diaogues waaaah T_T pinasikat nya ko nung araw na yun! x_x (02-21-07)
First win against deadhungryme, highest level player (02-22-07) Awts, fans? Errr... @_@
First game with EmoLinus and nobodyssum1, Chii's dada and mama :3 (02-24-07) Naka-chain yata ako x7 pero talo pa rin kasi noob partner ku x_x
02-24-07 Sabi ko kay Mecky (XIV), aba, inspired! Naka-chain kasi XD ayun yung sinabi nya, sa first pic. E di hiniritan ko (nasa second pic), eh napahiya ata, ayun nag-miss (third pic), tuwa pa ata na nag-apir lang sila ni Kim. (fourth pic) *ROFL*
02-24-07 (pa rin) Nang ma-DC si eagleman sa... errr iniwan nya ko! @_@ (basahin nyo na lang yung sinabi nya WAHAHAHA)
Eto yung replay, imagine nyo na lang yung kulitan namin dyan LOL! XIV-MEI CoupleD Replay
His reason: pinindot daw ang "Couple Proposal" button. zomg! @_@
Anyway that's all for now. I'm really sleepy and my dad's coming home anytime soon. ~_~ Ja, matta ne~~
Tomorrow I start working on my Audition post, filled with my in-game screenies that tell many different stories.
Not for the faint of heart, nor for morons >:)
Me no likey preview, it'll destroy the fun. >:)
[Edit 03/01/2007: Delayed due to situations in-game. *SIGH*] [Edit 03/08/2007: Replaced Imeem playlist with my own. Song titles arranged in alphabetical order for easier browsing. :3] *still no new post, wtf o.O*
Now playing: Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
To be honest, I really am not in the mood to be updating this. I just have this feeling in me that I have to at least document this day.
For the very first time in 2 years, I have felt like shit for more than half a day.
It's funny they say that it's cute to watch two people denying their feelings for each other. But guess what... That's comedy TV. Today I witnessed a worse replay of my last love story, complete with a death note and the usual heart burn it causes me.
From her point of view: she wants out, she doesn't want to fall for him. From his point of view: confused and hurt by the sudden outcome.
From her point of view: she wants to stop while it's 'not too late'. From his point of view: this may be his end; not theirs but just his.. death?
Was he just led on?
Were her intentions misinterpreted?
Who's in denial?
The only thing worse than being him or her is being stuck in between. That's where I am right now. The only comfort in that is the fact that there are two of us common friends that mourn this unexpected turn of events.
What a cruel twist of fate....
As if I didn't have enough problems in my own life. :(
Guys, please stop making each other suffer... it hurts me. It hurts us too. ;_;
I read this on the Soompi Forums. (you need to be a registered member in order to see the threads)
SEOUL, Feb. 10 (Yonhap) -- South Korean actress Jeong Da-bin was found dead early Saturday in what seems to have been a suicide due to depression, according to police and her acquaintances.
Police officials said Jeong, 27, was found hanged in a bathroom of her boyfriend's house in Seoul around 7:50 a.m. The boyfriend, identified only by his surname Lee, said he took Jeong back to his house because she got drunk while hanging out with friends at a nearby bar.
The police suspect that she committed suicide considering there was no sign of murder, and are trying to determine the exact circumstances of her death.
Observers say Jeong seems to have been suffering from depression, citing comments she posted recently on her personal blog.
A message she posted on Friday, titled "Finished," said, "I'm complicated and I feel like I'm going to die...I have lost my identity."
Screenshots of her personal blog:
You can read the translation here. (There's actually a better translation I read somewhere else, but my mind's gone kind of blank right now.)
What is happening to the world!? It's almost Valentines and she decides to commit suicide?! No way. I won't believe it. Apparently, even other Korean stars refuse to accept it. Kevin (Kim Rae-Won) immediately cancelled his shootings and flew home from Thailand as soon as he heard the news. I saw his pictures during the funeral, and he looked deathly pale. In an interview, he was reportedly heard saying "Da bin, I'm sorry, I was late." Oh good Lord...
I sense foul play. -_- Read this article, where her company denies the possibility of suicide. Click Me
For those who do not wish to be bothered by registering in Soompi, here is the article I linked above.
-o-
Jung Dabin's Company claims that JDB's death is not suicide and is requesting for reinvestigation.
The decedent's company Sedona Media held a press conference on the 11th at 3:30PM at Seoul Ahsan Hospital and clarified all of the suspicions made by the media about the sucide attempt and company problems. They also said "The decedent's death is not a suicide."
Sedona Media's Director Park Hyun said "There was no reason why the decedent would have committed suicide. All of the problems was getting solved and there is no reason why she would have committed suicide. She made appointments to meet her friends and she had plans to go on a trip with Jung SunHee and other celebs."
Director Park claims that evidence that it is not a suicide is, 1. The fact that she tried to committ suicide last September is a lie and was proved by her family and acquaintances, 2. Jung Dabin wasn't drunk on the day of the accident, 3. There was 2 months left until her former manager gets sued, 4. The problems with her former company has been solved, 5. she made appointments with many acquaintances.
Regarding her boyfriend's statement "She tried to committ suicide 5 months ago" Sedona Media said "As it was revealed at the Police Station, the boyfriend lied. The decedent got the wound on her wrist when she was in her 1st year of highschool."
"The decedent wasn't drunk at the time of the accident."
Director Park Hyun said "The decedent wasn't very drunk on the day of the accident."
Director Park said "There are no traces that the decedent drank alcohol at her boyfriend's house. The day before the accident Jung Dabin with 4 people including her boyfriend shared 6 bottles of Soju and beer. Jung Dabin paid the bill and there was an employee's statement that she wasn't very drunk."
"She made appointments with acquaintances and showed desire in new pieces."
The decedent's company says Jung Dabin made hospital appointments with close acquaintances and promised to go on a trip so there is no reason why she committed suicide.
Director Park Hyun said "The day before the accident at 11PM she called a close unnie. On the 12th she made an appointment to go to a dermatologist and showed desire in picking her next work."
Also "She was planning to go on a trip with Jung Sunhee. She made appointments to meet with the people she drank with again 2 days later."
"She showed disappointment towards Unee's suicide...the note on her Mini Hompy is not a suicide note."
Director Park Hyun said "Regarding Unee's suicide Jung Dabin talked about how suicide was bad with her cordinator and her boyfriend. She said 'I will never committ suicide and try to live harder.' and expressed her disappointment."
They revealed the post she put up the day before she died wasn't a suicide note.
Director Park said "After Jung Dabin died and people saw her post it became an suicide note. I wonder if Jung Dabin didn't die, would it have been considered a suicide note. That post is not a note that hinted of her suicide."
"The problems with her former company, it was almost solved."
Sedona Media claimed the problems with her former company was almost solved.
Director Park said "There was 2 months left until her former manager was going to be sued, the lawsuits with her former company one was decided as immaterial and the other one was decided as compensation. Everything was getting solved smoothly."
"To an actor 1 year and 6 months isn't a long time. Jung Dabin's next work was decided already so there is no reason why she would have committed suicide."
Besides this her company said she loved her family a lot, her next work was decided and she was in the middle of picking other pieces too.
"Just because there is no evidence of murder we can't be sure its suicide. The murder can be disguised as suicide and if Jung Dabin did commit suicide she probably had a reason why had to do it."
-o-
I might post updates on the investigation later within the week, for the sake of those without Soompi accounts. (o^_^o)
Our lives are affected by the decision we make. Most of the time, it is the smallest things that make the biggest impact. In the event that this incident is decided as suicide, I cry for her. She took her life just because she doesn't have work? What a petty excuse.
You need courage to live in the world, you prove your inner strength by facing the challenges thrown at you. You accept them, you battle your uncertainties, and if needed you have friends that are willing to help you. Even in the darkest of days, there'll always come a time that you'll glimpse a ray of light. It'll all end soon... or later.
You're not supposed to give up!
Just because of this, she might never see paradise. (I remember that if you take your own life, you will never be able to go to Heaven ) BUT if it is proven to be murder.....
DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU PSYCHO!!! Whoever you are! I'll wring your neck when I see you! Ipapakulam talaga kitaaaaa!!!
*heave* *wheeze* *cough cough*
... *sigh* I bet 10 cents saying the boyfriend was an accomplice. -_-
This was supposed to be a happy post because I was able to put up a temporary soundbox on my blog (see Siren's Isle section, below Tagboard) but... alas.
My Tribute to Da-Bin: "Alone" by Shimokawa Mikuni [Lyrics]
Note: Pause the autoplay soundbox below the tagboard so as not to make the tracks overlap each other.
...And a photo video made by a Youtube member.
I've searched for pieces of myself, counting the endless nights all the while. These feelings are becoming so certain I almost lose myself.
Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.
