Today's my birthday. Midway through the day and your chat window is still dead. This is okay.
I was stubborn enough to tell you once that instead of lambing all I wanted was peace of mind. I haven't seen you online since you went back to her. Yes, I knew. I never asked, I just get informed even without me asking.
Maybe this was the kind of peace I didn't want. But according to what is right, I know this is what I need. This is what she needs too... If she's still willing (and/or stupid — desperate enough) to take you back.
I love you. Perhaps you knew it too. Is that why you wanted to meet? To confirm my feelings first hand? Then you shouldn't have wasted the chances I gave you. Nalaman mo nga sana. I could never keep anything from you. But what did you plan to achieve?
Maybe the reason why you said we can't be friends is because you don't want to let go of the romance, the intimacy. But if you opened your mind, I can show you it's possible. I offered you friendship not because I was closing that door for good. I was doing it to allow us to stay in each other's lives without hurting your chances with someone else — her. I did it this way, because you can't seem to stop reaching out to me... And here I am still seeking you in my heart against my will. Logic be damned, I might still welcome you back.
But everyone has limits. The amount of disrespect you've subjected me to thus far, and the way you used my feelings to fuel your self-centered goals have numbed the love I've always saved for you.
We've been so very unfair to each other, and it's tiring to keep score at this point. I refuse to make things harder than it is now. Time and again, you've chosen the hard road even when everything went against you.
Just fix your life. That's the only gift I will accept. You don't need to know what I really want. Whatever it is you want, please make it work. It'll be worth the pain.
May this period of silence last until my heart forgets you.
