In Memory of Her...

Paula Carlyn Lopez y Legazpi
March 31, 1990 - March 18, 2007

a.k.a.

IGN: cArLyNa

I will postpone my UPLB updates to give way for this one update. They can wait... Besides, HL hasn't given me a copy of our EB pic. ~_~

~*~*~

Currently Playing: Jewellery - Tonight

I first met her on Audition last month, probably around the same time I met rebkev. She was such a sweet girl. I could tell she was really kind. But I don't think we started out too good kasi she was somewhat aloof o.O knowing me, I'd still pursue of course. She warmed up to me later on so I guess that wasn't a waste of effort. ^_^

Days passed and we haven't been in much contact with each other. We see each other's characters in-game sometimes, but we seldom chat because she has her own group, and I have mine. Despite this, there was this small spark I sense when we see each other, a hint of a deep-rooted friendship. (well, I was hoping ^^)

-insert- No, this isn't shoujo ai. BUZZ OFF. -insert-

Around March 10 and the days after that, I heard and read stuff about rebkev, the guy I thought was her (in-game) boyfriend. I won't go into detail since I don't much about it myself. That's when I saw her post in the Pussyfierz thread. Alas, my name was there. O_O

Reduced size of her post

She remembered me! ^_^ It was only then I found out she's been going in and out of the hospital for a heavy reason. So I added her on my YM and the next day, we got to chat. (kulit na bata, gumagamit pa ng PC sa hospital kahit bawal)

...just a part of our last talk.

-insert- Been talking to WIL at this part of my post.
As he logged out a tear fell on my lips and I tasted it. Salty ~_~ -insert-

I really didn't know it would be the last time I'd be able to talk to her. If I did, sana nilubos lubos ko na. I could've encouraged her more. To hang on and trust the Lord to extend her life.

I regret not being able to be a better friend to her.


March 22, 2007; 11PM
I told Mecky that I'm about to have my last dance for the night. I was feeling sleepy and rather tired from the events of the day. I spent the first half of the day at UPLB, literally walking my papers. ~_~ I got home tired but accomplished. (I'll blog about this next time.) When I played, I got accussed of being a botter by an Amateur named howerr, and being at the level he/she is at, the rest of the people in the room assumed the same thing. Last I heard of him/her, he/she was still preaching about me being a bot. "Pussyfier pa man din... kahiya"

While at the lobby, Mecky told me to make the room, so I did, and I named it "last dance ~_~", he was even surprised that it had to be Couple Dance Mode. (ayaw mo? sows, gusto mo rin~ *grin* [joke~]) It took us a few minutes of waiting and inviting to proceed to dancing, and it just happened that I invited momoshiro09 because we lacked one guy to make 2 couples.

Momo asked me if anyone was piloting my character last Sunday. I told him no, I don't have pilots (and for me to entrust my account to a pilot would have a very big reason behind it). Then he asked me "alam nyo na po ba yung tungkol kay carlyna?"

I have a bad feeling about this. I tried to reason out with my brain and just said "inde. hanu? tungkol ba sa kanila ni rebkev?" "No," he said, "she passed away last Sunday"


...



Shock. And Disappointment.

I was in Denial of everything in my head for about two minutes. I felt Anger because of people who never made her life (even virtual life) any easier. Regret, because of a lot of things...

For a while there I didn't know what to do... until I saw the girl (mejcris) standing on the platform, waiting for the game to start. I said, "Momo, can you come down?"

In-game my hands were just pressing keys of their own accord until I realized they were having trouble with Chance. Talk about possessed. I didn't miss a turn, not even once, during this dance. Mecky did, just once. Rare feat. ~_~

[Edit: I watched the replay again. I turned Chance off pala even before the 2nd turn. I just remembered I was too disturbed to think of the opposite direction. ~_~ And I noticed Mecky didn't use Chance either. *sigh*]

Mecky and I were really depressed by the news. Know what?

We got 14 hearts.

And we dedicated it to her.
XIV-MEI CoupleD2 Replay

Bakit ngayon pa? ~_~


The room title... the unintentional invitation... the bad news... the dance and the result... Sis, did you mean to tell me more? About what?

...Or is this your doing, Uri?


I think I've had too much of divine intervention all my life. I can't think straight about this anymore... ~_~


Carlyn,
...I just wish we had the chance to meet earlier than this. For all we know, I may have passed by you when I walked the streets of Los Baños. We might've had a common friend.

You could've had me as a big sister. ~_~

Alas, God decided to call you back early. Seems He needs you to be in Heaven sooner than we thought. ~_~

Sana nababasa mo to. I miss you sis. I really do. :'(


**Last night I cried for about 30 minutes. I don't know. I just fell asleep holding my phone, halfway into composing a message for EDZ. I cried again today. ~_~**