10.05.2008

Random Thoughts of Melancholy




"Listen well to my words son, for this may be the last time we are given this opportunity to spend time together."

(The son stands up to retort, but she continues without fail)

"Kenji, have you ever wondered why I never ever got mad nor sad whenever your father wasn't home? It is because I knew well in my heart that he would come back. No matter how far he got from home, however long he was away, I always knew he would come back because this is his home; our home."

"Whenever I see your face, it reminds me of your father, and how dear he was to me. That's why I'm so happy to see you today. It's the same feeling I had when I saw your father after such a long time."

(Kaoru smiles as Kenji blushed and looked down)


"When I met your father from China, my chest ached so much, I felt it was about to burst -- it was almost unbearable. For me, seeing his face again was more than enough. I was overcome with joy, when he said "I am home, Kaoru," and at that moment, I fulfilled my promise by answering "Welcome back, Shinta".

(Kenji's eyes widened with this confession)

"After a few moments of sitting together by the river, that's when I realized your father was gone. I was happy then, because I am sure that he finally found his answer. His face showed the peace he felt. The scar from his past that kept haunting him no longer exists."

"Then, I cried -- it wasn't because of sorrow, but of joy. I know he is happy to die in my arms..."

"I chose to share the suffering your father went through, which eventually caused his death. I have no regrets at all. My love for your father was more important to me. As such, your father loved you and I, that's why he always went away. Not being with us pained him more than his illness did. If you only took the time to know him, you wouldn't have hated him."

"How could you keep smiling despite your husband constantly leaving you behind?" Kenji asked, hatred marked in his facial features.

Kaoru closes her eyes as she heaves a sigh. "I'm sorry I never stopped him whenever he left... I know your anger grows each time you see me welcoming him with a smile and open arms. You must have felt pity for your poor mother, and for that I ask for forgiveness."

Kenji shakes his head vigorously. "Mother, you need not apologize to a son who ran away from reality! It is I who should beg forgiveness from you."

"I knew very well that I could not take her place in your father's heart", Kaoru started to Kenji's surprise, "That is why I did my best to love him, even when I knew it would be difficult. I believed, that someday, he would smile at me from the bottom of his heart. It would express pure joy... no trace of sadness nor remorse of the past. When you grow up and have a family of your own, you'll understand. I admit that most of the time, I act based on my emotions rather than logic. It got me and your father in trouble often. I'm sure you wont make the same mistakes we did."

(Kenji smiles briefly at the thought)

"I feel rather tired, may I rest on your lap for a while?"

"Y-yes... of course, mother." (Kenji moves farther for Kaoru to lie down)

"It was just like this. We were watching the sunset, and I held him in my arms just like what you're doing now. Sometimes I look to the sunset as if it signifies the end of my life... Kenji, let me tell you now that I regret nothing in loving your father the way I did. Even if it turned out he was in love with someone else beyond anyone's reach, I do not feel sad. Remember, 'it is better to love and be loved than to never have loved at all'. Your life's journey has only begun. Don't throw it away needlessly. Live as if your life would end the next day, so you won't feel like you wasted your time."

(Kaoru closes her eyes then sighs again)


"Promise me you'll stay strong, no matter what the future may bring upon you. Accept fate's path, but dare to venture if you feel there's a better way around. Whenever you feel lonely or confused, look at the cherry blossoms and think of us. We will always be with you..."

"Take care of your father's sword. It is his legacy, use it as he would have. I don't expect you to be just like him, or follow in his footsteps -- only that you give importance to life and use the sword for something good."

"I love you... Kenji. I will always love you, and your father. Always.... and forever." She struggles to smile once more, while tears stream from her eyes and stain Kenji's robes.

I'll always love you too, mother. Don't worry, I've forgiven father a long time ago. Kenji brushes off some hair from Kaoru's face.


A few hours later, Kaoru passes away. Kenji quietly shed tears, stricken with grief from years of silence. His mother looked happier than ever.


-----


Megumi was secretly listening from inside one of the dojo's rooms. Tears welled up in her eyes from what she heard Kaoru say. Sanosuke and Yahiko came in with flowers and tangerines in hand. Upon seeing Megumi weeping, Sano feared the worst, and knew he was too late. Yahiko rushed in to see the body of his mentor lying peacefully on a shikibuton, Kenji by her side.

"Oh Kenshin, you're lucky to have Kaoru for a partner. I couldn't do the same things she did for you. Now I really know why you had eyes for only her." She cried in Sanosuke's arms.


January 4, 2003; 12:35 AM
by Anonymous




From what I gather, this short dialogue was made based on events after Samurai X: Reflection where Kenshin died. :( Its a sad conclusion to a remarkable series, but nevertheless, I can't ask for a better ending. *sigh*

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