Another Salad Bowl style update (I forgot the post title. LOL)

Currently Playing: YUI - CHE.R.RY

I am typing this while I chat with my bestfriend on YM. Yay for multi tasking! @_@


I was watching PBB last night (05.06.07) and had the chance to see some of Wendy and Bruce's intimate moments. Okay so now probably everyone knows that the guy HAD a girlfriend outside but no one in the PBB house knew about it until recently, and Wendy was, of course, shocked by the revelation. Their talks somehow rang a bell in my head. I think a few of my online friends would know what I mean and who I'm pertaining to. Yes, Anna, Joey, Naie. He's the same guy I talked to you about during our lunch date.

[OT: Speaking of which, where are the pics!? T_T]

I know I had feelings for him before, and I thought he did too, as was testified for by friends and acquaintances whom I asked about our status. (I asked both players and non-players of Audition mind you, I had to retell the whole story with screenshots and everything x_x) But after he told me that they broke up, I somehow just... felt cold towards the whole thing. Yes we talked about it, the details of his last relationship and how it was for the last 3 months. He knows I felt (weakened) after the talk, he even thought I got jealous. I mean, really, how can you get jealous of someone who's nothing more than a friend? ^^o I wasn't jealous at all, in fact, I was thankful because in "the end", it was he who set me free of my own trap.


[Insert: Nagtatampo si bez at this point on YM, now I'm bargaining for a way to say sorry @_@]


... I realized how stupid I was for thinking we felt the same way for each other. And what's even more stupid is... I let myself be encouraged by a close friend who actually knew he had a girlfriend that I didn't know about. Betrayal? *roll eyes* Tapos na yun eh. We're okay now so what's the point in discussing it? =_=

So how is this related to Bruce and Wendy??

Well, they both admitted to Big Bro how they really feel. And they themselves know how they felt for each other. =.= Most of the Philippine populace knows that by now.

I just wish we had our Big Bro too.

I have no way of knowing how he really feels at the moment... Yes we now call ourselves bestfriends, but the stuff we do together, what we talk about...

stuff that only the two of us know...

and the way he pulls me back towards him.


[Insert: Nanakawan nya ako ng halik sa lugar na di ko alam =.= di daw sa nunal, di rin sa noo. "basta ako alam ko kung saan yun? di mo na feel?" OKAY~ so now it's my fault that I don't know!? @_@]


I can't help but think, "Does he even know what he's doing? Does he realize the gravity of the situation he is putting himself in?"

I don't think he's that stupid to think nothing more will come out of this. That we'll stay friends or something. I really don't know anymore. @_@

The only thing I'm sure about right now is that I am in deep shit because:

• I am falling for him, AGAIN;
• I think he's getting too close to me, AGAIN; and
• This is all WRONG! REALLY!!

He's still moving on from his last relationship, he said so himself. I'm not sure if I had anything to do with the break up; from the way he narrated, it was the girl who broke away. Yes kuya, it wasn't him. Daw. So you thought wrong. :P


Bottom line is:
I don't wanna be there to patch up what he lost.

I don't want to hurt myself again.

I don't want him to think we'll be okay...

[Insert: He said he's gonna sleep. His late message says: "bez, pagbalik ko ha, dpat alam mo na kung saan yung nakaw na halik na yun, parang puzzle yan " WTF!!]



The way I feel doesn't change the fact that I am 5 years older than him. Even if I eventually find out how he really feels. ~_~

... I'm so confused... ='(

Can I just be a Wendy? At least we're sure her Bruce loves her. *sigh*

~*~*~

In other news, I'm training myself to use 3 fingers on the numpad for Audi. It sure feels weird. And I can't chat at the same time like I used to. x_x Maybe I'll stick to using 2... but then again.... T_T

A few days ago, I played with WIL, DC1, FU & AHU and the latter three know about my drinking incident. As I said before, I wasn't even the least bit tipsy then. My fingers just kept freezing so I couldn't press keys at times. Epekto ng alcohol? *phew*

See? It was just 123bpm. x_x

To WIL and DC1, good luck reaching Clubber status. Jiayou! :3

And a bonus, I played Couple Dance with my kapatid, pussyfierNAI. I dunno when he turned his Chance off but the gap in our scores sure shocked me. XD

Teh score gap! Teh score gap! X_x

I didn't turn Chance off. Galing kasi ni mOsT eh. Na-challenge ako. XD


I can't finish up the damned Medical Exam. They need samples I can't provide at the moment. LOL.

Ah, the pics from Le Pav that I promised. Here they are XD

Kulitan near the Dance Revo machine (Si BOS naglalaro eh)
(Top-Bottom, L-R) XIV, ??? XIO, AHM, ANN, ICH, MYX
REG, MEI, VOX, LEE, DON, XYN, DAR, GHE
EDZ, BEE, LOU, SAI, RIC, NOD, ???

A pic before the crowds got thicker (kakasuklay ko lang mwahaha!)
(L-R) CHK, BOS, AHM, LOU, ANN, SAI, BEE, EDZ, KIX, XIV, XYN, MEI

After the awarding ceremonies: Certification as legitimate pAU club ^^
(Top-Bottom, L-R) ???, DON, VOX, RIC, GHE, XYN, ANN, AHM
MEI, SAI, LOU, EDZ
DC1, DON, Sera (yes, that's HIM!), REG, BEE

Teh Puto Family Pic ^^
MEI, dada LOU, momi SAI, kuya AHM, bunsong XYN.
Nawawala si bradah NAI! x_x

Uwian na! XD (we look so damn wasted, ang gulo! HAHAHA)
(Top-Bottom, L-R) CHK, UDD, ???, MYX, DC1, DON, MEI, LOU, SAI
DON, ANN, ???, ICH, at mga taong di makita sa likod, ayun si GM Psybot oh!
PF ba yung naka-stripes?, NOD, BOS, REG, ???, AID

Sorry to those people I forgot! T_T Buti na lang talaga I brought my socks. Sumakit paa ko kakalakad x_x cotton at least lessened the friction and gave a bit of comfort. *whew!*


Deuchess left for New York on the same day as the Dom1nation Event. I remembered that when I met EmoLinus and nobodyssum1. I miss her leh... Anyway mama Kat looks so pretty x_x Linus looks wasted. HAHAHA. Peace XD too bad I didn't have a pic with them. :(


And lastly, I found these cute drawings in my twin sister Ymira's Deviantart portfolio.

Ymira Antartes ~ Amalthea Centauri by Ymira

(scaled to fit screen, click to see large version)

An alchemist and an assassin. Weee~ Quoting Eve, "kambal nga kayo!" Well sis, oo nga, kambal nga yata kami. Nyahahaha! XD She's so good with Photoshop. ;__;

Check out more of her works on ymira.deviantart.com ^__^

Well folks, that's it for a nice, short update. Hahaha. :P

Mei:

"Koi shichattan da~ tabun, kizuitenai deshou?"