Merry Christmas to everyone! Partially merry for me. Still not done untangling the knots in my life and then here comes more. Such a pity for a cute kitten like me to witness the harsh realities of life at such a tender age of 3.1 (cat) years. =.= Anyway, I got cut off yesterday coz the shop was chock full of people. Only got full control of my PC again yesterday, 11pm. You think I was still in the mood to blog? Heck, NO. There was a good reason, but I dunno if it's good only to me. It was Christmas eve, and my heart was still filled with nothing but sorrow. How low is that? =.=
Anyway... many would think: Why would my heart be filled with nothing but sorrow? I was known for being the jolly, happy-go-lucky life of the group. I had all the basic necessities of life. I was always happy. But... *sigh* Well, aside from the sad news of my brother's mom passing away, there was something else I found on the verge of death. Lo and behold... It was the ties that bond me and my beloved.
Of course, I wouldn't have acknowledged it if someone wasn't there to make me see it under a brighter light. In this case, there were two people. And two people who were very close to me. One was my brother. The other, a rather dangerous fork on my road, was a friend I have only recently known.
It was just like what my brother said... I'm feeling the way he did a few months ago. And that's when I started to see the things I refused to see, or even missed, during the times I chose to be innocent and live a simple life.
How was I supposed to know I was destined to live a life far more cruel than what I imagined..? T_T
It's Christmas alright... But I just can't see a reason for me to celebrate. *sigh*
12.25.2005
12.24.2005
O_o?
Hmm.. Last update was October 1. O_o err... the excuse "I was busy" still applies. XD To my dear imouto Raine... I'm so sorry. I'll send you new EiC stuff to make up for 2 months of not updating my blog. XD
As for news, I'm still a kitten! When will I ever grow up?? <_< *dry smirk* seriously, I've been one heck of a busy kitten these past 2 months, I barely had time to tidy myself up. =.= It was the same thing with my bro, but he had the privilege of accessing the Net for free due to to the nature of his job. THE WORLD IS SO UNFAIR! T_T
The reason I can update my stinkin' blog now is because someone else is paying my Net time for me. He's playing GB beside me. How charitable! *evil cackle* And I have a very good reason to update my blog, coz something *finally!* happened in my boring 1st out of 9 lives.
Something I've wished for in... *counts with her paws* 5 months finally happened. The catch though, it didn't turn out as i expected. I finally found someone who can adopt me, but I'm too chicken to let him any closer. You get my point? Already?? Good. Coz I don't think I have the heart to expalin any further. XD
As with other news, me and my girl friends got to chat for a while on Y!M.
Whoops, brb. Update again later. X_x
As for news, I'm still a kitten! When will I ever grow up?? <_< *dry smirk* seriously, I've been one heck of a busy kitten these past 2 months, I barely had time to tidy myself up. =.= It was the same thing with my bro, but he had the privilege of accessing the Net for free due to to the nature of his job. THE WORLD IS SO UNFAIR! T_T
The reason I can update my stinkin' blog now is because someone else is paying my Net time for me. He's playing GB beside me. How charitable! *evil cackle* And I have a very good reason to update my blog, coz something *finally!* happened in my boring 1st out of 9 lives.
Something I've wished for in... *counts with her paws* 5 months finally happened. The catch though, it didn't turn out as i expected. I finally found someone who can adopt me, but I'm too chicken to let him any closer. You get my point? Already?? Good. Coz I don't think I have the heart to expalin any further. XD
As with other news, me and my girl friends got to chat for a while on Y!M.
Whoops, brb. Update again later. X_x
10.01.2005
Where was my neck the last time?
One month passed and yes, I'm sorry I was too lazy to update. -_-; I'd best get this over with now or else, I just might get too lazy to do it again some other time. XD
So there i was, sitting in one of the benches scattered all over the resort. I just finished eating the *free* food, and was already thinking of goin' for a swim. Time's a wastin' and so I left the oldies chatting in the pavilion. XD Then when I got dressed and was on my way to the pool, I bumped into my mom, and she had this "mad" expression on her face saying, "Why did you leave me??" Hehe.. of course... I made an excuse that my friend's already waitin' by the pool. But the truth is, I really don't know any of the kids I saw on the bus with me. XD When I got there, I saw my Tito Henry's daughter, which later introduced herself as Amelia. She kinda reminds me of myself in Grade 6. Chubby, short, "burnt mestiza". *hysterical laughter*
The exciting stuff only started after lunch, so maybe I should just skip the boring part. After all it was only a trip into the butterfly farm, experiencing a tickle or two from the resident mama and papa butterflies, and yes, feeling Devas creeping into you. X_x If only those things didn't cost 100 bucks a piece, I wouldn't have resisted brushing them off my ears. @_@ ANYWAY! We went back to the pool after eating a light lunch (buffet style native dishes, with pork lechon *yum!*, and of course, buko juice. AGAIN!) and there we found a LOT of people. Wonder where they came from... All through the morning I never saw any other big groups other than us. -_-" Okay, here comes the reason why I had a really stiff neck. ^^ We found one of our male groupmates, the son of the Association's Vice-President, Paolo. He was talking to one of the local youngsters, Vince, whose parents are workers in the resort. We got kinda bored so we joined in, until a dare was given and I sent Amelia to get 2 1-peso coins for us to hunt underwater. XD Madugas ako at first, then they noticed I was wearing my goggles. AHAHAHAHAHA!! XP Without the goggles of course, I couldn't see clearly in the now-a-bit-blurry water.. and eventually Vince beats us all in finding both coins. ^^;
Eventually, we got bored of that too, and when it was around 4PM, we decided to have the Water Wars. Amelia sits on my shoulders, Vince sits on Pao's shoulders, and they wrestle each other to get the opponent out of their comfy positions and into the water. Sounds fun? NOT IF YOU'RE THE ONE THEY'RE SITTING ON! I realized I made a mistake of volunteering to be the pillar, coz Amelia was... uhh... HEAVY. Maybe she was weighing around 190 pounds. Okay, so normally I wouldn't complain, but I hadn't got much exercise that time so I was having a hard time keeping her still. T_T I saw it as a miracle when we managed to beat the boys, 3-2. Then our parents called for us, coz it was time to go home. Such a shame I forgot to buy souvenirs... the dried butterflies looked yummy.. err... pretty. XP So there ends my adventure to San Pablo.
The next day, as I tried to get myself out of bed, I realized my neck was KILLING me. I can't turn it! I can't even get out of bed! T_T So as *usual*, I had to roll off the bed into the floor, and pretend I didn't feel a thing. And after 5 days, the reflexologist came and scolded me for what I did. She said I almost suffered from mild stroke. I dunno if that's true or not, but my family's trusted their lives to her for almost a decade now. What can I do but believe? XS
*sigh* finally, Part 2 finished. Time to get back to playing The Sims. ;D
So there i was, sitting in one of the benches scattered all over the resort. I just finished eating the *free* food, and was already thinking of goin' for a swim. Time's a wastin' and so I left the oldies chatting in the pavilion. XD Then when I got dressed and was on my way to the pool, I bumped into my mom, and she had this "mad" expression on her face saying, "Why did you leave me??" Hehe.. of course... I made an excuse that my friend's already waitin' by the pool. But the truth is, I really don't know any of the kids I saw on the bus with me. XD When I got there, I saw my Tito Henry's daughter, which later introduced herself as Amelia. She kinda reminds me of myself in Grade 6. Chubby, short, "burnt mestiza". *hysterical laughter*
The exciting stuff only started after lunch, so maybe I should just skip the boring part. After all it was only a trip into the butterfly farm, experiencing a tickle or two from the resident mama and papa butterflies, and yes, feeling Devas creeping into you. X_x If only those things didn't cost 100 bucks a piece, I wouldn't have resisted brushing them off my ears. @_@ ANYWAY! We went back to the pool after eating a light lunch (buffet style native dishes, with pork lechon *yum!*, and of course, buko juice. AGAIN!) and there we found a LOT of people. Wonder where they came from... All through the morning I never saw any other big groups other than us. -_-" Okay, here comes the reason why I had a really stiff neck. ^^ We found one of our male groupmates, the son of the Association's Vice-President, Paolo. He was talking to one of the local youngsters, Vince, whose parents are workers in the resort. We got kinda bored so we joined in, until a dare was given and I sent Amelia to get 2 1-peso coins for us to hunt underwater. XD Madugas ako at first, then they noticed I was wearing my goggles. AHAHAHAHAHA!! XP Without the goggles of course, I couldn't see clearly in the now-a-bit-blurry water.. and eventually Vince beats us all in finding both coins. ^^;
Eventually, we got bored of that too, and when it was around 4PM, we decided to have the Water Wars. Amelia sits on my shoulders, Vince sits on Pao's shoulders, and they wrestle each other to get the opponent out of their comfy positions and into the water. Sounds fun? NOT IF YOU'RE THE ONE THEY'RE SITTING ON! I realized I made a mistake of volunteering to be the pillar, coz Amelia was... uhh... HEAVY. Maybe she was weighing around 190 pounds. Okay, so normally I wouldn't complain, but I hadn't got much exercise that time so I was having a hard time keeping her still. T_T I saw it as a miracle when we managed to beat the boys, 3-2. Then our parents called for us, coz it was time to go home. Such a shame I forgot to buy souvenirs... the dried butterflies looked yummy.. err... pretty. XP So there ends my adventure to San Pablo.
The next day, as I tried to get myself out of bed, I realized my neck was KILLING me. I can't turn it! I can't even get out of bed! T_T So as *usual*, I had to roll off the bed into the floor, and pretend I didn't feel a thing. And after 5 days, the reflexologist came and scolded me for what I did. She said I almost suffered from mild stroke. I dunno if that's true or not, but my family's trusted their lives to her for almost a decade now. What can I do but believe? XS
*sigh* finally, Part 2 finished. Time to get back to playing The Sims. ;D
9.04.2005
Friggin' pain in the neck! >_<
(this entry goes to my little sister, Rhoda. haymishyew baby sis! T_T)
Darn, I feel like I wanna lie down on a bed all day long. Now I know what it feels like to have a neck brace. I'm beginning to imagine myself turning my head 180 degrees like a zombie. X_x It all started yesterday afternoon...
Yesterday, I woke up with a pinch, and a killer head ache. I tried to stay up late to play MU @ 2am so I could try to hunt the White Wizard. Unfortunately, I think I gave up around 1.30, the music on the station I chose on my cellphone's radio played mellow music after another. String of lullabies. >_< Anyway, it was only 5am, and though I knew my hair looked like hell, I forced myself to roll off the bed and crawl downstairs for breakfast. We were going to a resort in San Pablo City... and the good news is, it's FREE! The owner of the resort invited the neighborhood association's officers and their families to come and visit for FREE. I was excited the night before, but then again, I was a lousy person in the morning. I was pissed when I found out I had to wake up early. =.=
So we set out on our way to the Clubhouse, stopping by a friend's house who requested for a carpool, and waited in the resort's exclusive transport. What pissed me off all the more is the fact that we were supposed to leave 8am (to mom: WHAT!? You woke me up 5am because you thought we're leaving at 7!?) and it took AN HOUR to wait for the others. I was at my wit's end when I realized, we were leaving. O_o
Going to the resort took 1.45 hours with minimal traffic. The narrow path from the main road to the resort's gate took 10 minutes. (it was so narrow, even people step aside to give way to the bus! XD) After a long, arduous (not to mention nauseating) journey, we finally arrived at the infamous Dioko Resort & Butterfly Farm. What welcomed us inside really surprised us... I can tell. XD Aside from the well-known butterfly farm, the place had a mini zoo! I saw an eagle, a falcon, a heron, an animal called kangaroo tree (weird name, don't ask coz i dunno either XD), deer, a family of ostrich and a lot more. I found everything so fascinating. After all, the last time I've been to a zoo was like... when I was only below 4 feet tall. XD I know I haven't grown in height too much from that time, but what the heck, that ain't the question here! (Btw, I took a picture of the eagle tilting his head. He was soooo cute! XD) We came to the pavilion, the center of the resort, and the owner, Mr. Dioko shook all our hands. It was cute when he shook hands with the President's baby. The kid was clinging hard to his finger. XD We were served macaroni soup for our snacks. And get this... he had buko juice straight from the fruit served as our water. I was wondering how'd that taste with the soup. O_o And as a dessert, he fetched for a sack full of lanzones. That thing'd cost a whole lot in Manila. It was practically cost-free and trouble-free for all of us... And they were sweeeeeeeeeeet! *drools* made me abandon my hot soup in a flash. @_@
Anyway, I'll tell the Part 2 of my adventure with the butterflies (and the reason for my pain in the neck) another time. My neck's really killing me! >_<
Darn, I feel like I wanna lie down on a bed all day long. Now I know what it feels like to have a neck brace. I'm beginning to imagine myself turning my head 180 degrees like a zombie. X_x It all started yesterday afternoon...
Yesterday, I woke up with a pinch, and a killer head ache. I tried to stay up late to play MU @ 2am so I could try to hunt the White Wizard. Unfortunately, I think I gave up around 1.30, the music on the station I chose on my cellphone's radio played mellow music after another. String of lullabies. >_< Anyway, it was only 5am, and though I knew my hair looked like hell, I forced myself to roll off the bed and crawl downstairs for breakfast. We were going to a resort in San Pablo City... and the good news is, it's FREE! The owner of the resort invited the neighborhood association's officers and their families to come and visit for FREE. I was excited the night before, but then again, I was a lousy person in the morning. I was pissed when I found out I had to wake up early. =.=
So we set out on our way to the Clubhouse, stopping by a friend's house who requested for a carpool, and waited in the resort's exclusive transport. What pissed me off all the more is the fact that we were supposed to leave 8am (to mom: WHAT!? You woke me up 5am because you thought we're leaving at 7!?) and it took AN HOUR to wait for the others. I was at my wit's end when I realized, we were leaving. O_o
Going to the resort took 1.45 hours with minimal traffic. The narrow path from the main road to the resort's gate took 10 minutes. (it was so narrow, even people step aside to give way to the bus! XD) After a long, arduous (not to mention nauseating) journey, we finally arrived at the infamous Dioko Resort & Butterfly Farm. What welcomed us inside really surprised us... I can tell. XD Aside from the well-known butterfly farm, the place had a mini zoo! I saw an eagle, a falcon, a heron, an animal called kangaroo tree (weird name, don't ask coz i dunno either XD), deer, a family of ostrich and a lot more. I found everything so fascinating. After all, the last time I've been to a zoo was like... when I was only below 4 feet tall. XD I know I haven't grown in height too much from that time, but what the heck, that ain't the question here! (Btw, I took a picture of the eagle tilting his head. He was soooo cute! XD) We came to the pavilion, the center of the resort, and the owner, Mr. Dioko shook all our hands. It was cute when he shook hands with the President's baby. The kid was clinging hard to his finger. XD We were served macaroni soup for our snacks. And get this... he had buko juice straight from the fruit served as our water. I was wondering how'd that taste with the soup. O_o And as a dessert, he fetched for a sack full of lanzones. That thing'd cost a whole lot in Manila. It was practically cost-free and trouble-free for all of us... And they were sweeeeeeeeeeet! *drools* made me abandon my hot soup in a flash. @_@
Anyway, I'll tell the Part 2 of my adventure with the butterflies (and the reason for my pain in the neck) another time. My neck's really killing me! >_<
8.09.2005
Pikachu's sooooo cute~! XD
I am 53% Video Game Addict.
Video games are a big portion of my life, maybe too big of a portion. They are not a means of social interaction, despite what I might think. I should just go outside. LOL so that's how it is eh?? Tch. Goes to show I'm following my brother's footsteps. I'm 3 years younger and 4% lower than him! *rolls over laughing*
7.07.2005
A Birthday Treat, and 4 Kinds of Pancit
Date: July 7, 2005
Reminder: Mom's Burthday
Age: Still not in calendar even if you exchange the 2 digits. DO NOT ASK. XD
Today was my mom's birthday, and what more would better fit this occasion than: SHOPPING! Yes, shopping. The weird part of it is, we shopped for a new PC. LOL. It was more like a late birthday gift for me than a birthday gift for mom. She doesn't know anything about PCs except chat, Ragnarok, Internet, AVR, modem, and Shut Down. Exactly those words. XD Well anyway, we bought a new PC for the mini shop I manage back at home. It's our 2nd all-new, bought-straight-from-the-store PC. And it's black! W00t~! XD So now I can play 2 MU-PH accounts on 2 PCs! Muahahahahahahahahahaa!! XD
Setting this aside, we also went grocery (shopping). Unfortunately, my favorite Oishi Ridges flavor (Cheese) was out of stock. Curse those inventory people, sending out an order only when supplies run out! @!#$%^*+^!!! You're mean~ >_<"
Back to the title, umm... today we ate 4 kinds of pancit. LOL! First, for brunch, mom prepared sotanghon/bihon pancit mix. O_o Then for our afternoon snack, mom ordered Lomi from Kamay Kainan, while me and dad ordered Mami (I'd like to think of it as ramen, thank you! XD). And before we went home, we passed by the take-out counter near our subdivision's clubhouse, and bought Palabok. =.= (umay na umay na ko sa pancit! GAAAAAAHH!!! X_x")
I'm too full (and tired and sleepy and lazy O_o) to post this anyways. Maybe I'll put this up tomorrow... @_@
[edit] actually, it took me a MONTH to post this. Anyways I'll still put it under the 7th of July. LOLZ! XD
Reminder: Mom's Burthday
Age: Still not in calendar even if you exchange the 2 digits. DO NOT ASK. XD
Today was my mom's birthday, and what more would better fit this occasion than: SHOPPING! Yes, shopping. The weird part of it is, we shopped for a new PC. LOL. It was more like a late birthday gift for me than a birthday gift for mom. She doesn't know anything about PCs except chat, Ragnarok, Internet, AVR, modem, and Shut Down. Exactly those words. XD Well anyway, we bought a new PC for the mini shop I manage back at home. It's our 2nd all-new, bought-straight-from-the-store PC. And it's black! W00t~! XD So now I can play 2 MU-PH accounts on 2 PCs! Muahahahahahahahahahaa!! XD
Setting this aside, we also went grocery (shopping). Unfortunately, my favorite Oishi Ridges flavor (Cheese) was out of stock. Curse those inventory people, sending out an order only when supplies run out! @!#$%^*+^!!! You're mean~ >_<"
Back to the title, umm... today we ate 4 kinds of pancit. LOL! First, for brunch, mom prepared sotanghon/bihon pancit mix. O_o Then for our afternoon snack, mom ordered Lomi from Kamay Kainan, while me and dad ordered Mami (I'd like to think of it as ramen, thank you! XD). And before we went home, we passed by the take-out counter near our subdivision's clubhouse, and bought Palabok. =.= (umay na umay na ko sa pancit! GAAAAAAHH!!! X_x")
I'm too full (and tired and sleepy and lazy O_o) to post this anyways. Maybe I'll put this up tomorrow... @_@
[edit] actually, it took me a MONTH to post this. Anyways I'll still put it under the 7th of July. LOLZ! XD
6.26.2005
A White Dog, a Black Motorcycle and THE Blue Aura
I wasn't thinking of updating my blog this soon... But heck, I've got news. And it's a big, alarming one. (not surprising though.)
Okay, today was my last day of returning back and forth the dog clinic for my anti-rabies shots. (remember I told you that my freakin' dog bit me last March? Yeah, I just graduated from that. W0000t~!! XD) So when I got in the clinic followed by mom (as usual, she's my chaperone), I gave the green record card and waited. During that dull time we heard little squeals from behind the curtains. We both thought Doc's patients this time are infants (with hyper stamina), but the nurse told us it was his 2-year old son. LOL, the squeal sounded like that of a girl's. XD Anyway, a few moments later, out came what looked like a nanny, holding something, or rather, like pulling something from the ground. Then this uber cute baby girl came out and looked at me! Sooo CUTE~~~! ^x^ She was walking with some kind of strap wrapped around her upper body, which was held tight by the nanny. My first thought, and rather a rude one at that, was, "Parang doggie!" The nurses couldn't help but laugh at this shameless reaction. And I was like, "Wha? She does look like a guide dog with that strap!" And yeah, mom scolded me for that. >.< Then one of the nurses said that the baby was often called "Whitey" because she was "mestiza" and, yah, always guided by that strap. Hence Whitey, a typical dog's name. I heaved a sigh of relief, knowing I wasn't alone on the idea. XD
So the injections were finished. (at last!) We went off after paying and getting our receipts. We decided to walk home instead of paying 15PhP for just(!!!) a 200-meter walk to the tricycle station. It just rained hard, so some of the canals were overflowing, and half of the road was submerged in sewer waters. (eww.) So we had no choice but to walk around it, on the dry part of the road. We just passed a Caltex gas station then and were passing in front of an old, abandoned building. Mom and I were still talking about "Whitey" when I suddenly felt here being pulled away, to the direction of the busy road. The umbrella she was holding was pulled down and I saw a black motorcycle with 2 passengers in it pausing briefly to grab my mom's handbag. "THIEF!!" shouted mom. She was holding on deperately to her handbag till the thief let go and zoomed off. Two jeepneys stopped to ask my mom what happened, and they both went off. I dunno if the first driver intended to chase the motorcycle coz he went off as soon as mom told him the thieves haven't gotten away that far, or he's just in a plain hurry. And so, I held on to the bag coz mom was still shaky from the experience. We got on a tricycle ride, more than willing to go home.
This just shows that they are everywhere now. Guess there's no place safe left in the Philippines. =(
And finally, I'm writing this at dead midnight coz my local customer in PC rentals hogged my new PC all to himself for 3 hours, then came a brown out. AND after the brownout, he still came over to play another hour! (Life is so unfair! T_T) The game he's playing? My version of Ragnarok Offline. It's so damn hard to configure the darn program, it took me till midnight of yesterday to fix all of it and I'm not even enjoying a minute of it yet! I'll jst play tomorrow. I just fixed the GM accounts and changed the levels to 99. Of coure, all my configurations are hidden from Jomar's watchful eye. (he's an average computer literate 2nd year HS student) He's happy he got to Level 99 today and is now levelling his magician. Oh well.
That's it. I need to go and burn some CDs. *melts all over the keyboard*
Okay, today was my last day of returning back and forth the dog clinic for my anti-rabies shots. (remember I told you that my freakin' dog bit me last March? Yeah, I just graduated from that. W0000t~!! XD) So when I got in the clinic followed by mom (as usual, she's my chaperone), I gave the green record card and waited. During that dull time we heard little squeals from behind the curtains. We both thought Doc's patients this time are infants (with hyper stamina), but the nurse told us it was his 2-year old son. LOL, the squeal sounded like that of a girl's. XD Anyway, a few moments later, out came what looked like a nanny, holding something, or rather, like pulling something from the ground. Then this uber cute baby girl came out and looked at me! Sooo CUTE~~~! ^x^ She was walking with some kind of strap wrapped around her upper body, which was held tight by the nanny. My first thought, and rather a rude one at that, was, "Parang doggie!" The nurses couldn't help but laugh at this shameless reaction. And I was like, "Wha? She does look like a guide dog with that strap!" And yeah, mom scolded me for that. >.< Then one of the nurses said that the baby was often called "Whitey" because she was "mestiza" and, yah, always guided by that strap. Hence Whitey, a typical dog's name. I heaved a sigh of relief, knowing I wasn't alone on the idea. XD
So the injections were finished. (at last!) We went off after paying and getting our receipts. We decided to walk home instead of paying 15PhP for just(!!!) a 200-meter walk to the tricycle station. It just rained hard, so some of the canals were overflowing, and half of the road was submerged in sewer waters. (eww.) So we had no choice but to walk around it, on the dry part of the road. We just passed a Caltex gas station then and were passing in front of an old, abandoned building. Mom and I were still talking about "Whitey" when I suddenly felt here being pulled away, to the direction of the busy road. The umbrella she was holding was pulled down and I saw a black motorcycle with 2 passengers in it pausing briefly to grab my mom's handbag. "THIEF!!" shouted mom. She was holding on deperately to her handbag till the thief let go and zoomed off. Two jeepneys stopped to ask my mom what happened, and they both went off. I dunno if the first driver intended to chase the motorcycle coz he went off as soon as mom told him the thieves haven't gotten away that far, or he's just in a plain hurry. And so, I held on to the bag coz mom was still shaky from the experience. We got on a tricycle ride, more than willing to go home.
This just shows that they are everywhere now. Guess there's no place safe left in the Philippines. =(
And finally, I'm writing this at dead midnight coz my local customer in PC rentals hogged my new PC all to himself for 3 hours, then came a brown out. AND after the brownout, he still came over to play another hour! (Life is so unfair! T_T) The game he's playing? My version of Ragnarok Offline. It's so damn hard to configure the darn program, it took me till midnight of yesterday to fix all of it and I'm not even enjoying a minute of it yet! I'll jst play tomorrow. I just fixed the GM accounts and changed the levels to 99. Of coure, all my configurations are hidden from Jomar's watchful eye. (he's an average computer literate 2nd year HS student) He's happy he got to Level 99 today and is now levelling his magician. Oh well.
That's it. I need to go and burn some CDs. *melts all over the keyboard*
6.22.2005
Reminiscence: A Trip Down Memory Lane
It was him who first talked to me about his problems (we talked a lot on RO last year). Like Rielene, he told me about everything; from his college graduation to the 3rd party issue. He told only me, someone he knew for only 3 months then. He didn't even bother to tell those things to his 4+ year-old barkada. Weird right? After a lot of thinking, I never got to know how that even started. I just knew he was still sore after his ex broke up with him, and I just happened to be there. Maybe it was because I was the only member who actually talked to him about something other than WOE, Zeny, Forbidden... Ragnarok in general.
I thought, maybe he's confident telling me because we haven't even met. Helping him was like second nature to me... As common as my 3 meals, my daily walks, and my daily rounds in HO. One of my reasons for helping him was just to erase unnecessary thoughts. I wanted our guild to be known as an elite guild. One that is feared and respected. One that can conquer, defend, and manage a Castle. And this guild needed a GM who concentrated his thoughtson the guild. And he was that GM, who once led the coup 'd etat against a former guildmaster's tyranny. (Yes, our guild in Fenrir had a very dramatic history. XD) Because of my contributions to the guild, I was escalated from a mere 2nd generation member to a member of the elite guild circle. (I left that position to continue being an extension GM) I never realized that what I did meant another thing to him till it was too late.
Back then... I was committed to someone else. I had a boyfriend of only 3 months, and Kyle was then 6 months sore from his heartbreak. My (ex-)boyfriend (whom I will refer to as Uriel or Uri from here on) was his confidante back in the early days of pRO Fenrir. A few weeks after I managed to heal Kyle's wounds, he told me he wanted to visit "us" (all the guild members) in LB. So he disclosed his plans, his companion, and the next day, we met. For the first time in 2 months of acquaintance, we saw each other for real. Me? At first, I was like, "Big deal. C'mon in, guild meeting's about to start!" (LOL XD) Actually, what I first said was, "So, who's who?" (LOL) That night, we all played in the same shop, managed to snag ourselves a nice castle, and everyone went over to Quincey's shop for a reunion of pioneer members.
~*~ fast forward ~*~
A month passed. I became more and more involved with the game and the guild I nurtured. After one unsuccesful defense of the agit, the guild held a meeting behind the Prontera Church. The usual rants and senseless comments flooded the chatroom a member set up. Soon after, all that's left was just the two of us. Though it may not have been evident, I was sort of his right hand (wo)man, a personal assistant. After all siege issues were settled, he started a different topic; our personal lives. He told me all sorts of things... From his friends' activities to his mom and niece. And he said he'd love to visit LB again. He loved the atmosphere, and the food. Our conversation seemed to last forever until Uriel called me out. He said he wanted to talk.
Once we were alone, he told me something Kyle told him some time ago. "I think I'm falling for her." Uriel said he understood that, since I was like his bestfriend in-game. And indeed I was. But certain misunderstandings led to others creating a chain reaction, and this was the very reason why Uriel broke up with me. Then, it was my turn.
For girls, one of the most painful experiences would be having her boyfriend break up with her. Not telling her straight to her face makes things worse. Loving too much is another big mistake. And when he takes it back, rejecting it would seem less painful than taking him back when all damage has been done. When I received that message, it just happened that I was talking to Kyle on my cellphone via headset. And when I read it, I immediately burst into tears. The next day, Kyle went over to my home in Santa Rosa (all the way from Valenzuela) to comfort me. It was only the second time we met in real life.
I didn't want another heartache, I just wanted to isolate myself. I began to think: Why the hell did I end up with him, what with all the guys I know would treat me better? Why did I choose him, when in the first place, I had a dozen to choose from? That's because people are not my collection. Wtf is with the phrase "collection of friends"? People aren't stuffed toys. They're living, breathing human beings with a heart. Kyle prove that to me when he came over to see me. It was the first time a guy stood with me, even ignoring my mom's vicious observations. He became my ray of light.
With tamed hatred I came face to face with the "man" who rejected me. All I wanted was to make him suffer as I did. Vengeance was indeed best served cold. But only his fire melted me a bit... Just to the point that I wouldn't disregard him like trash. We said our final goodbyes, and I chose my bestfriend's company over him.
Many things happened since that time; the guild's (or at least, majority of the guild) long-term wish, that Kyle and I get together, came true in real life. In-game, we merged with another powerful guild and gained the name we currently carry, we established alliances, we gained and lost members. But in real life, things started to get nasty, which affected our gamer lives. Kyle gave in to Quincey's words and entered the continent of Mu, while slowly losing grip of Ragnarok, and the guild. I was being left with the responsibility of holding the guild together in his absence. But this wasn't enough, for Kyle held a unique presence; one I cannot replace. I was faced with the harsh reality of a breaking guild due to the absence of its leader. And my pleas for his return were unheard. So after a few months of endless toil (and not to mention, real-life fights because of in-game issues), during Christmas vacation, I retreated to the new world he chose to stay in, holding a curiousity and a little hurt for being left behind. And that's when I met the Holy Order, and eventually left my martyr life in pRO Fenrir. =)
He decided to take a step... I took him in... And we ended up with the best rewards we could've thought of at the time: We had each other. (accidently? :P) Taking risks is natural in relationships. All you need is the courage to fight, the heart to survive, and the goal to keep you intact. I'm sure there are many more, but in my case, I was able to fight it well because I wanted my freedom, no unwanted strings attached.
Just when I was beginning to think I had enough experience with love and hurt combined, he had to work overseas. We both admitted we were weak in long distance relationships (heck, I was on the verge of giving up far too many times for me to mention) and yet he chose to keep us. Well, he fought. And know what? We're still here. =)
At first, it felt a bit painful remembering everything. But in the end, I concluded, that reminiscing... never felt this good. ^_^
I thought, maybe he's confident telling me because we haven't even met. Helping him was like second nature to me... As common as my 3 meals, my daily walks, and my daily rounds in HO. One of my reasons for helping him was just to erase unnecessary thoughts. I wanted our guild to be known as an elite guild. One that is feared and respected. One that can conquer, defend, and manage a Castle. And this guild needed a GM who concentrated his thoughtson the guild. And he was that GM, who once led the coup 'd etat against a former guildmaster's tyranny. (Yes, our guild in Fenrir had a very dramatic history. XD) Because of my contributions to the guild, I was escalated from a mere 2nd generation member to a member of the elite guild circle. (I left that position to continue being an extension GM) I never realized that what I did meant another thing to him till it was too late.
Back then... I was committed to someone else. I had a boyfriend of only 3 months, and Kyle was then 6 months sore from his heartbreak. My (ex-)boyfriend (whom I will refer to as Uriel or Uri from here on) was his confidante back in the early days of pRO Fenrir. A few weeks after I managed to heal Kyle's wounds, he told me he wanted to visit "us" (all the guild members) in LB. So he disclosed his plans, his companion, and the next day, we met. For the first time in 2 months of acquaintance, we saw each other for real. Me? At first, I was like, "Big deal. C'mon in, guild meeting's about to start!" (LOL XD) Actually, what I first said was, "So, who's who?" (LOL) That night, we all played in the same shop, managed to snag ourselves a nice castle, and everyone went over to Quincey's shop for a reunion of pioneer members.
~*~ fast forward ~*~
A month passed. I became more and more involved with the game and the guild I nurtured. After one unsuccesful defense of the agit, the guild held a meeting behind the Prontera Church. The usual rants and senseless comments flooded the chatroom a member set up. Soon after, all that's left was just the two of us. Though it may not have been evident, I was sort of his right hand (wo)man, a personal assistant. After all siege issues were settled, he started a different topic; our personal lives. He told me all sorts of things... From his friends' activities to his mom and niece. And he said he'd love to visit LB again. He loved the atmosphere, and the food. Our conversation seemed to last forever until Uriel called me out. He said he wanted to talk.
Once we were alone, he told me something Kyle told him some time ago. "I think I'm falling for her." Uriel said he understood that, since I was like his bestfriend in-game. And indeed I was. But certain misunderstandings led to others creating a chain reaction, and this was the very reason why Uriel broke up with me. Then, it was my turn.
For girls, one of the most painful experiences would be having her boyfriend break up with her. Not telling her straight to her face makes things worse. Loving too much is another big mistake. And when he takes it back, rejecting it would seem less painful than taking him back when all damage has been done. When I received that message, it just happened that I was talking to Kyle on my cellphone via headset. And when I read it, I immediately burst into tears. The next day, Kyle went over to my home in Santa Rosa (all the way from Valenzuela) to comfort me. It was only the second time we met in real life.
I didn't want another heartache, I just wanted to isolate myself. I began to think: Why the hell did I end up with him, what with all the guys I know would treat me better? Why did I choose him, when in the first place, I had a dozen to choose from? That's because people are not my collection. Wtf is with the phrase "collection of friends"? People aren't stuffed toys. They're living, breathing human beings with a heart. Kyle prove that to me when he came over to see me. It was the first time a guy stood with me, even ignoring my mom's vicious observations. He became my ray of light.
With tamed hatred I came face to face with the "man" who rejected me. All I wanted was to make him suffer as I did. Vengeance was indeed best served cold. But only his fire melted me a bit... Just to the point that I wouldn't disregard him like trash. We said our final goodbyes, and I chose my bestfriend's company over him.
Many things happened since that time; the guild's (or at least, majority of the guild) long-term wish, that Kyle and I get together, came true in real life. In-game, we merged with another powerful guild and gained the name we currently carry, we established alliances, we gained and lost members. But in real life, things started to get nasty, which affected our gamer lives. Kyle gave in to Quincey's words and entered the continent of Mu, while slowly losing grip of Ragnarok, and the guild. I was being left with the responsibility of holding the guild together in his absence. But this wasn't enough, for Kyle held a unique presence; one I cannot replace. I was faced with the harsh reality of a breaking guild due to the absence of its leader. And my pleas for his return were unheard. So after a few months of endless toil (and not to mention, real-life fights because of in-game issues), during Christmas vacation, I retreated to the new world he chose to stay in, holding a curiousity and a little hurt for being left behind. And that's when I met the Holy Order, and eventually left my martyr life in pRO Fenrir. =)
He decided to take a step... I took him in... And we ended up with the best rewards we could've thought of at the time: We had each other. (accidently? :P) Taking risks is natural in relationships. All you need is the courage to fight, the heart to survive, and the goal to keep you intact. I'm sure there are many more, but in my case, I was able to fight it well because I wanted my freedom, no unwanted strings attached.
Just when I was beginning to think I had enough experience with love and hurt combined, he had to work overseas. We both admitted we were weak in long distance relationships (heck, I was on the verge of giving up far too many times for me to mention) and yet he chose to keep us. Well, he fought. And know what? We're still here. =)
At first, it felt a bit painful remembering everything. But in the end, I concluded, that reminiscing... never felt this good. ^_^
6.15.2005
One Anime Quiz After Another
Wheeee~!! I'm Kagome! But I was kinda hoping I'd be Inuyasha's first love interest, Kikiyo. ^o^
--------------------
What Inuyasha Hero Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.
I've been a bit fond of anime quizzes lately. ~_~
--------------------
What Inuyasha Hero Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.
I've been a bit fond of anime quizzes lately. ~_~
6.14.2005
Blogs and Nationality Mix-ups. O_O;
"Hop hop hop hop hop jump jump jump hop!" --> if you could determine where this came from, I'll treat you out to a Sashimi platter! XD
I found this neat blog on the net, because I visited my bro Tuna Caserole, Uriel, Maddox, then (tadaaaah!) Xiaxue. You may question me for my odd preferences, but I found them to be nice reading materials. (actually, I found the latter two by accident. ^_^) I just wanted to post something about my last stop, which is the only "girly" site I dropped by today. I dunno, there must be something with me and my last stops. DON'T ASK. ^___^
Well, I don't really worship the ground she blogs on, for crying out loud, I have my own blog, which I update whenever I feel like it, and I am happy about it! Simple as it may look, but it's better to look at rather than some crappy blogs out there... just filling it with rants, blah blahs... it's a big waste of time and subscription. -_-" *hitting someone in friends' list with her can*
But anyway, I knew right away she was Singaporean, and I find her posts... what can I call 'em... Crafty? Errgh... I dunno, I can't rack my brains for a better term. Euphemism mode OFF. XD One thing I just can't help but point out (me and my crappy english. O_O) is her images. I think she posts too many pics. But no one said it's bad, ayt? ^o^ It just takes a lotta time to download 'em all. (Especially for me coz when I check out a website, I do mean I read [almost] every word, and look at every image in it.) In the case of Xiaxue's blog, it's definitely worth reading, whether it's for information purposes (limited to Singapore people only), or for [more than] a few laughs. (You'll get even more if you actually understand Singlish. XD)
Back to the Singaporean part, it makes me feel really good inside (AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!) that I understand a few of her Singlish (Singaporean-English) entries. How? We used to converse in Singlish at AXN-Asia. We eventually got so close, we even had a family there. (And I had my very first online Singaporean boyfriend there!! OMG! How i mish Kenken!! XD) That's when I started getting used to speaking Singlish, even my big bro in SG thought I was really a Singaporean gal posing as a "Philippina" (no kidding, that's how he spelled it. X_x"), when he got to talk to me and we texted each other. Phrases like "the party I went to was so shiok", "don't mind 'em lah", angela-chan, long time no see lor!" and the unforgettable "buay paiseh ah!!" XD But I think I'll have to talk about 'em next time. I don't want my trail of thoughts to be cut off in the middle. ^___^
Thinking back (more like browsing back) to Xiaxue, I kinda wished I could gather up all the pioneer members of the AXN-Asia Forums, even those who flooded, spammed, flamed and been a real pain in the arse in the Green Era*, those before them, and some who came in soon after the Green Era. Not just from the Philippines, but also those from HK, SG, MY, TW, even those from USA and Down Under, It'd be one helluva blast. (I can flame them all back for all I care! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! >;D)
One thought lingers in my sh*tty keyboard... after I banged on it endlessly during my brainstorming sessions: "Shut UP liao." (How the heck does my keyboard do that anyway?! Problem with women [or girls?]: We imagine too much.)
So, have you figured out where I got my hopping frenzy yet? ^o^
(*The Green Era of AXN-Asia is when the theme was a lime green color. That was way back... 4? 5 years ago?? It's what can be called the Golden Age of Foruming. XD)
I found this neat blog on the net, because I visited my bro Tuna Caserole, Uriel, Maddox, then (tadaaaah!) Xiaxue. You may question me for my odd preferences, but I found them to be nice reading materials. (actually, I found the latter two by accident. ^_^) I just wanted to post something about my last stop, which is the only "girly" site I dropped by today. I dunno, there must be something with me and my last stops. DON'T ASK. ^___^
Well, I don't really worship the ground she blogs on, for crying out loud, I have my own blog, which I update whenever I feel like it, and I am happy about it! Simple as it may look, but it's better to look at rather than some crappy blogs out there... just filling it with rants, blah blahs... it's a big waste of time and subscription. -_-" *hitting someone in friends' list with her can*
But anyway, I knew right away she was Singaporean, and I find her posts... what can I call 'em... Crafty? Errgh... I dunno, I can't rack my brains for a better term. Euphemism mode OFF. XD One thing I just can't help but point out (me and my crappy english. O_O) is her images. I think she posts too many pics. But no one said it's bad, ayt? ^o^ It just takes a lotta time to download 'em all. (Especially for me coz when I check out a website, I do mean I read [almost] every word, and look at every image in it.) In the case of Xiaxue's blog, it's definitely worth reading, whether it's for information purposes (limited to Singapore people only), or for [more than] a few laughs. (You'll get even more if you actually understand Singlish. XD)
Back to the Singaporean part, it makes me feel really good inside (AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!) that I understand a few of her Singlish (Singaporean-English) entries. How? We used to converse in Singlish at AXN-Asia. We eventually got so close, we even had a family there. (And I had my very first online Singaporean boyfriend there!! OMG! How i mish Kenken!! XD) That's when I started getting used to speaking Singlish, even my big bro in SG thought I was really a Singaporean gal posing as a "Philippina" (no kidding, that's how he spelled it. X_x"), when he got to talk to me and we texted each other. Phrases like "the party I went to was so shiok", "don't mind 'em lah", angela-chan, long time no see lor!" and the unforgettable "buay paiseh ah!!" XD But I think I'll have to talk about 'em next time. I don't want my trail of thoughts to be cut off in the middle. ^___^
Thinking back (more like browsing back) to Xiaxue, I kinda wished I could gather up all the pioneer members of the AXN-Asia Forums, even those who flooded, spammed, flamed and been a real pain in the arse in the Green Era*, those before them, and some who came in soon after the Green Era. Not just from the Philippines, but also those from HK, SG, MY, TW, even those from USA and Down Under, It'd be one helluva blast. (I can flame them all back for all I care! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! >;D)
One thought lingers in my sh*tty keyboard... after I banged on it endlessly during my brainstorming sessions: "Shut UP liao." (How the heck does my keyboard do that anyway?! Problem with women [or girls?]: We imagine too much.)
So, have you figured out where I got my hopping frenzy yet? ^o^
(*The Green Era of AXN-Asia is when the theme was a lime green color. That was way back... 4? 5 years ago?? It's what can be called the Golden Age of Foruming. XD)
6.11.2005
Picture Perfect, Picture Problem! X_x;
Since I started blogging, I've been using my cellphone to take pictures of "significant" events in everyday life. The problem is, I really don't know how to transfer them to the computer... @_@ I know you need that USB cord thingie, but I don't know where to get one, and I don't think my dad knows either. T_T I have so many pictures there, like my cat in a can (literally) and the most tuna cans I ever saw in the house at one time. It's all too... tempting. *drools* XD
So, does anyone know where I can get a friggin' USB cable!? T_T
Oh, here's something Naruto. I can't believe i got the old man! :((
--------------------
What Ninja Class Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.
And another Naruto test! Wheeee~! XD
Which Naruto Character Are You?
Test by naruto - kun.com
I'd love to be Naruto. Nuff said. ^_^
And Happy 7th Monthsary to me and my wub. Wow, it's the first time I went over the half-year boundary. XD
So, does anyone know where I can get a friggin' USB cable!? T_T
Oh, here's something Naruto. I can't believe i got the old man! :((
--------------------
What Ninja Class Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.
And another Naruto test! Wheeee~! XD
Which Naruto Character Are You?
Test by naruto - kun.com
I'd love to be Naruto. Nuff said. ^_^
And Happy 7th Monthsary to me and my wub. Wow, it's the first time I went over the half-year boundary. XD
6.10.2005
Tuna Chronicles 2005
I was supposed to update this yesterday... but for some reason, I became uber lazy after I turned 19. Hahahaha! XD Well anyway, belated happy birthday to me! ^_^
Yesh~ I know the title seems out of place, but I just gained another year! BEAR WITH IT! XD
For the record, my 19th birthday is again classified under the more insignificant celebrations of my life. I guess it can be attributed to the fact that I'm becoming more of a scrooge everyday. Spending on other things than the basic necessities is like a chore. (Well, internet card's one of my necessities now... ~_~) And just to stress on the "insignificant" part, lemme share what happened on my birthday. (you can skip the next parts ^____^")
First off, I slept around midnight of June 8. I was watching something... forgot what it was but the characters put on one hell of a show so I stayed up late. My mom greeted me, THEN ordered me to go upstairs to my room. What does she have against the concept of a good night's sleep anyway!? -_-" Twas because I was occupying my dad's couch. (We decided to call it dad's couch coz he loves to sleep there. Talk about hogging the couch, literally! @_@) SO! I woke up around 7am, the usual, coz my mom has a daily delivery to the local bakery. I received a call from my grandma a few minutes later, greeting me a happy birthday. (Mom was rather surprised to know that she remembers my birthday. XD) Then at around 12noon, all freshened up, we left home to go to a friggin' BIR seminar! Talk about celebrating. ¬_¬" Well most of what I understood there was just many blah blahs and whatchamacolits. After all I heard (during the time I was awake AND listening), I felt discouraged to continue the business, AND the eminar guy looks rather happy about it! *_* That's when I thought, "The Philippine Tax System sucks!" >:Þ
The seminar ended around 3.30pm. By that time I was already starving... so I may have drooled over the roasted chicken without me noticing. XD We ate @ KFC, leaving the idea of buying roasted chicken for take-out. (There's always the next visit~) Then poof! I thought it was time for malling when suddenly... we were in the supermarket, grocery shopping for the STORE! WTH!!! /frustration /madness /angst = /melt it was 5.05pm then. We were to catch a movie @ 6.25, so Mom and I split up the shopping list to make things faster. I was done in 15 minutes, while Mom was still halfway through the list! Proves my theory right that bigger, *ahem* shapely *ahem, AHEM!* legs can help you move faster. (Mom has skinny legs btw. XD!)
Know what we watched in the movie theater? Mr. and Mrs. Smith! It's a great mixture of laughter, action, a whole lotta spy stuff, a lot of KABOOM!s and KAPOW!s on both sides, and chills and thrills. Just goes to show how much I love Angelina~~ Oh Angelina!! *droooools* XD
So all in all, it's a happy birthday, alright. Except the part where I had to carry the shopping bags into the house. AcK!! >_<
Oh well. That's it for today's post, I guess. Have lotsa things to fix. ~_~
Yesh~ I know the title seems out of place, but I just gained another year! BEAR WITH IT! XD
For the record, my 19th birthday is again classified under the more insignificant celebrations of my life. I guess it can be attributed to the fact that I'm becoming more of a scrooge everyday. Spending on other things than the basic necessities is like a chore. (Well, internet card's one of my necessities now... ~_~) And just to stress on the "insignificant" part, lemme share what happened on my birthday. (you can skip the next parts ^____^")
First off, I slept around midnight of June 8. I was watching something... forgot what it was but the characters put on one hell of a show so I stayed up late. My mom greeted me, THEN ordered me to go upstairs to my room. What does she have against the concept of a good night's sleep anyway!? -_-" Twas because I was occupying my dad's couch. (We decided to call it dad's couch coz he loves to sleep there. Talk about hogging the couch, literally! @_@) SO! I woke up around 7am, the usual, coz my mom has a daily delivery to the local bakery. I received a call from my grandma a few minutes later, greeting me a happy birthday. (Mom was rather surprised to know that she remembers my birthday. XD) Then at around 12noon, all freshened up, we left home to go to a friggin' BIR seminar! Talk about celebrating. ¬_¬" Well most of what I understood there was just many blah blahs and whatchamacolits. After all I heard (during the time I was awake AND listening), I felt discouraged to continue the business, AND the eminar guy looks rather happy about it! *_* That's when I thought, "The Philippine Tax System sucks!" >:Þ
The seminar ended around 3.30pm. By that time I was already starving... so I may have drooled over the roasted chicken without me noticing. XD We ate @ KFC, leaving the idea of buying roasted chicken for take-out. (There's always the next visit~) Then poof! I thought it was time for malling when suddenly... we were in the supermarket, grocery shopping for the STORE! WTH!!! /frustration /madness /angst = /melt it was 5.05pm then. We were to catch a movie @ 6.25, so Mom and I split up the shopping list to make things faster. I was done in 15 minutes, while Mom was still halfway through the list! Proves my theory right that bigger, *ahem* shapely *ahem, AHEM!* legs can help you move faster. (Mom has skinny legs btw. XD!)
Know what we watched in the movie theater? Mr. and Mrs. Smith! It's a great mixture of laughter, action, a whole lotta spy stuff, a lot of KABOOM!s and KAPOW!s on both sides, and chills and thrills. Just goes to show how much I love Angelina~~ Oh Angelina!! *droooools* XD
So all in all, it's a happy birthday, alright. Except the part where I had to carry the shopping bags into the house. AcK!! >_<
Oh well. That's it for today's post, I guess. Have lotsa things to fix. ~_~
5.24.2005
Truth or Consequence? You aren't really given a choice.
"That hurts, you know. That really hurts."
I've heard the line "The truth hurts" too many times in my lifetime, at what people would call a tender age of eighteen. But I never expected it to have such a big impact on me, especially now. Why I said that? Look at this dialogue.
"Hello? Who's this? Hello?"
"Don't you remember me?"
"Who IS this?"
"You really don't remember me??"
The truth I feared hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water last night. I only thought it COULD happen, but I didn't expect it would come so soon, or even come at all! He didn't recognize me! My heart skipped one too many beats. I felt crushed. Neglected. And the worst? Forgotten and left behind. I wasn't prepared for it. And that's when the chain of regret started... and completely overpowered my chain of reason.
It was like talking to an amnesia patient. I felt like that reporter who intervied Ester Bailey with her impossibly psychotic mind. If my load didn't run out I probably would've gone on asking: "Don't you remember me?" or "Don't you remember my voice?" or maybe "Did my voice change??".
It made me wish I never called him. For the first time since we got separated, I wanted to forget and let go completely. I don't remember ever feeling so down in the dumps as much as I did last night. But this... letting go, won't go without a consequence. That I rid myself of all emotion and be a living dead. Can I do that? Well, I can. I tried and succeeded before. I just don't know if I can still pull that stunt, after I became such a softie.
This made me wonder why anything and everything comes at a price. Whether it be your last peso or even your life. The thought made me curse inside. I wish I went with my idea before... Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much as it did now, and maybe for the next few years. Just look at this letter I found.
(I translated some of the sentences into English and got rid of the SMS words.)
***
Jinkie,
I'm sorry I could only say this here. I let the situation get to what it is now. I'll be straightforward then. We can't go on like this. We have to let go, while we still can. I'll be leaving for the States next week. And I'm never coming back. I've decided, that I'm going to work there now, and earn for my family. I can't let you wait in vain while I'm there. I want you to be able to move on, without me.
I know it's all so sudden, but this is the only chance I have. I'll be leaving with my brother next week and take the free slot in his previous workplace. I decided that it's time for me to take responsibility. Be the man of the family. Coz I know I'm the only one strong enough here.
I guess we just weren't meant for each other. I'm really sorry for this. I made you wait for such a long time before I was able to summon up all my courage to tell you. I'm so very sorry... But do know I love you and I never did you wrong. The memories of us together, I will keep it in my heart forever. Thank you for everything. I love you... and goodbye.
***
Personally speaking, I think breaking the news like that, ESPECIALLY through Friendster(!), has got to be one of the most cruel things a guy can do to a girl. I know, I experienced it. I felt pathetic. I pitied myself. And I always wondered where I went wrong. I know I gave him everything... EVERYTHING. I never lacked anywhere. I even sacrificed a lot, even my own studies. Everyday was a battle for our love. (eww, mushy stuff!! I HATE this...) That experience left me in a state of shock. I sunk to the floor of my well of thoughts... until my savior came in and pulled me out of the freezing cold water. He revived me. And helped me become who I am now. But when I thought of it, releasing the news like that is way better than not telling her at all. I envy that girl Jinkie, though she may feel like sh*t for a while, that sorrow will soon pass, and she'll find someone else. I, on the other hand, will suffer the same thing, over and over, while he's away. Am I afraid of tomorrow? Yes. I'm afraid Ill hear him say, "Do I know you?" next. It'll probably make me wish I was never born.
Let's move on to a different topic, shall we? I'm following up on my appointment at school tomorrow. Pretty soon I'll start working, at least for my allowance. Hopefully it will take up much of my time and help me forget and focus on the more important things in life. It sucks to have no money. Well, I'm not flat out broke (yet), I just don't want to touch my savings. I might need it for something else in the future. (haha, they say I'm a money hoarder! I am soooo NOT!! XD)
But you know? This isn't helping me healthwise. I still have dreams for our house, my folks, and especially for myself. Too bad I'll have to sacrifice one dream for the other thousands to come. =(
My word of advice for myself, never devote too much of yourself on one thing alone. I have yet to learn how it's done. I'm still hoping it's not too late for me when that time comes...
I've heard the line "The truth hurts" too many times in my lifetime, at what people would call a tender age of eighteen. But I never expected it to have such a big impact on me, especially now. Why I said that? Look at this dialogue.
"Hello? Who's this? Hello?"
"Don't you remember me?"
"Who IS this?"
"You really don't remember me??"
The truth I feared hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water last night. I only thought it COULD happen, but I didn't expect it would come so soon, or even come at all! He didn't recognize me! My heart skipped one too many beats. I felt crushed. Neglected. And the worst? Forgotten and left behind. I wasn't prepared for it. And that's when the chain of regret started... and completely overpowered my chain of reason.
It was like talking to an amnesia patient. I felt like that reporter who intervied Ester Bailey with her impossibly psychotic mind. If my load didn't run out I probably would've gone on asking: "Don't you remember me?" or "Don't you remember my voice?" or maybe "Did my voice change??".
It made me wish I never called him. For the first time since we got separated, I wanted to forget and let go completely. I don't remember ever feeling so down in the dumps as much as I did last night. But this... letting go, won't go without a consequence. That I rid myself of all emotion and be a living dead. Can I do that? Well, I can. I tried and succeeded before. I just don't know if I can still pull that stunt, after I became such a softie.
This made me wonder why anything and everything comes at a price. Whether it be your last peso or even your life. The thought made me curse inside. I wish I went with my idea before... Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much as it did now, and maybe for the next few years. Just look at this letter I found.
(I translated some of the sentences into English and got rid of the SMS words.)
***
Jinkie,
I'm sorry I could only say this here. I let the situation get to what it is now. I'll be straightforward then. We can't go on like this. We have to let go, while we still can. I'll be leaving for the States next week. And I'm never coming back. I've decided, that I'm going to work there now, and earn for my family. I can't let you wait in vain while I'm there. I want you to be able to move on, without me.
I know it's all so sudden, but this is the only chance I have. I'll be leaving with my brother next week and take the free slot in his previous workplace. I decided that it's time for me to take responsibility. Be the man of the family. Coz I know I'm the only one strong enough here.
I guess we just weren't meant for each other. I'm really sorry for this. I made you wait for such a long time before I was able to summon up all my courage to tell you. I'm so very sorry... But do know I love you and I never did you wrong. The memories of us together, I will keep it in my heart forever. Thank you for everything. I love you... and goodbye.
***
Personally speaking, I think breaking the news like that, ESPECIALLY through Friendster(!), has got to be one of the most cruel things a guy can do to a girl. I know, I experienced it. I felt pathetic. I pitied myself. And I always wondered where I went wrong. I know I gave him everything... EVERYTHING. I never lacked anywhere. I even sacrificed a lot, even my own studies. Everyday was a battle for our love. (eww, mushy stuff!! I HATE this...) That experience left me in a state of shock. I sunk to the floor of my well of thoughts... until my savior came in and pulled me out of the freezing cold water. He revived me. And helped me become who I am now. But when I thought of it, releasing the news like that is way better than not telling her at all. I envy that girl Jinkie, though she may feel like sh*t for a while, that sorrow will soon pass, and she'll find someone else. I, on the other hand, will suffer the same thing, over and over, while he's away. Am I afraid of tomorrow? Yes. I'm afraid Ill hear him say, "Do I know you?" next. It'll probably make me wish I was never born.
Let's move on to a different topic, shall we? I'm following up on my appointment at school tomorrow. Pretty soon I'll start working, at least for my allowance. Hopefully it will take up much of my time and help me forget and focus on the more important things in life. It sucks to have no money. Well, I'm not flat out broke (yet), I just don't want to touch my savings. I might need it for something else in the future. (haha, they say I'm a money hoarder! I am soooo NOT!! XD)
But you know? This isn't helping me healthwise. I still have dreams for our house, my folks, and especially for myself. Too bad I'll have to sacrifice one dream for the other thousands to come. =(
My word of advice for myself, never devote too much of yourself on one thing alone. I have yet to learn how it's done. I'm still hoping it's not too late for me when that time comes...
5.23.2005
A Few Crazy Blog Quizzes. ^^;
This has got to be the creepiest blog quiz I ever took. Before I excluded the things I thought I was (that was way before I met the people who changed my life and how I see things @_@... I was just curious of what result I would've obtained! ^^;) I was supposed to be sent to the 8th Level of Hell. Creepy!! T_T
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmm. I dunno. Just got bored? XD
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Up next is, well... umm... I have no idea!! Just don't look at me like that! Gyaah!! >_<
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very High |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Moderate |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Low |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Low |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmm. I dunno. Just got bored? XD
| Your Birthdate: June 9 |
Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature. You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous. You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate. Your feelings run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations. This 9 energy always tends to give more than it gets. |
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Up next is, well... umm... I have no idea!! Just don't look at me like that! Gyaah!! >_<
| Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake |
 You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many. The minute you meet anyone, you can make them crave you almost immediately. You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss. A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract. |
5.07.2005
Good Food = Good Mood. Happy Mother's Day! ^.^
"Laughter definitely is the best medicine... accompanied by a scrumptious snack." =^.^=
I was seated on my beanbag in the den watching Midori no Hibi's first episode on Animax when my mom blurted out, "Hey, this snack isn't expired yet!". ^_^; Well, that's how things go in the household... We buy stuff early on before they get any more expensive, then stock 'em up and eat them when we need to. These days, it's hard to get by with a limited budget. See, my dad's retired and most of his retirement pay went to loan payments, like the house loan thingie, and he used a lot of money paying up his credit card debts (oops, not sure if I should've said that just now... XD) and all that other crappy stuff. Back to the issue of a good snack, when I was cleaning up the cupboards to move our store's buffer stock in the cabinets, I found an 85 gram pack of Piattos Roadhouse Barbecue flavor. I don't exactly remember when the stuff was bought... I was guessing a year ago (guess I was wrong though XD) so I put it on the dining table's center platter so I'd remember to check whether it's still edible or poisonous. *laughs* 2 days after I found it, mom put it on display in the store! I was shocked! C'mon, I don't wanna get sued for food poisoning... ^x^;;; So I took it out a while ago and told my mom we shouldn't sell it coz we don't know its expiry date. (I want to sell only those we bought recently for the store) Then, enter mom's dialogue at the beginning of my lil' story. ^_^
So mom called me to the table, abruptly disturbing my giggling fiasco in front of the TV coz Seiji just saw Midori's naked body... (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! XD) and she shoved a piece of Piattos in my mouth without me noticing so she almost made me choke my guts out and made me real mad. Except for the fact that the snack she actually fed me was really yummy... I forgave her in 2 seconds. XD So anyway, she mixed up a dip made up of white stuff and red stuff, which I guessed was ketchup... And I expected the white stuff to be mayonnaise, but she surprised me by saying it was Nestlé All Purpose Cream. (aww, c'mon!! Am I advertising here!? O_o?) I'm not kidding, I'm not pulling your leg. It was DELICIOUS. If only I had allowance this summer, I'd buy more packs of Piattos and I'd stuff myself with my new discovery till I swear not to eat another bite (for the night, that is XD)... ahh, bliss. ~_~
So, enough about food already... tomorrow is Mother's Day... gosh it rained quite a bit outside and in the house as well... My mom and grandma were arguing since morning, and grandma's stint this afternoon was the last straw. Grandma is... well, gallant... too gallant that it's kinda irritating. One of my parents' godchildren came over this afternoon, I was upstairs then and mom said she was sleeping on the couch. Grandma was outside reading one of mom's StarStudio magazines which she rents for a fee. Well grandma, knowing she's so darn gallant, gave the kid two (pretty expensive) chocolate drinks, without mom's permission. Mom eventually found out and she went ballistic, especially when grandma said it's on her tab. I don't maintain a list of things she takes from the store. I'm not sure if mom does. Grandma doesn't have any money really... Her husband's pension went to other people. Why? She loaned it to them. 5 years ago. And she still hasn't got a single cent back ever since. And that's what I really hated about her. She can be so gullible sometimes. So I can somehow understand why mom gets so irritated. Another reason is her being such a busybody. She's already weakened a great deal, yet she insists she can still stay outdoors for long periods of time, under the searing heat, tending to her plants. On one occasion, I even yelled at her because she wanted me to unlock the front gate so she could water her plants. She said, "My plant is dying!" and I said, "If you keep this up, you'll die before your plant does!!" Now tell me what I did was wrong. Maybe the yelling part was, but the purpose is there. I did it for her own good. Coz the only way to confront a stubborn person is to be equally, if possible, more stubborn than him/her.
This Mother's Day, since I didn't get the chance to go out and find gift items for the 2 generations before me, I guess I'll have to settle for the mushy stuff. Don't get me wrong, I made it a habit not to spend mushy moments with my family, coz I always end up crying. And I hate that. I prefer spending those times with my close friends and my most loved one. ~_~; Hey, anyone got any gift ideas for me? I really, really don't wanna go for the mushy lovey-dovey stuff... I might die of embarrassment. Waaaaah. T_T
*sigh* I wish my grandma be granted a well-functioning, understanding brain... And I wish my mom would learn to be open-minded to the issue of granting me semi-independence... like having a boyfriend. I want her to recognize him... For what he really is to me... And I to him.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone's mothers, and to all the mothers reading this! Minna, ganbatte kudasai! ^o^
I was seated on my beanbag in the den watching Midori no Hibi's first episode on Animax when my mom blurted out, "Hey, this snack isn't expired yet!". ^_^; Well, that's how things go in the household... We buy stuff early on before they get any more expensive, then stock 'em up and eat them when we need to. These days, it's hard to get by with a limited budget. See, my dad's retired and most of his retirement pay went to loan payments, like the house loan thingie, and he used a lot of money paying up his credit card debts (oops, not sure if I should've said that just now... XD) and all that other crappy stuff. Back to the issue of a good snack, when I was cleaning up the cupboards to move our store's buffer stock in the cabinets, I found an 85 gram pack of Piattos Roadhouse Barbecue flavor. I don't exactly remember when the stuff was bought... I was guessing a year ago (guess I was wrong though XD) so I put it on the dining table's center platter so I'd remember to check whether it's still edible or poisonous. *laughs* 2 days after I found it, mom put it on display in the store! I was shocked! C'mon, I don't wanna get sued for food poisoning... ^x^;;; So I took it out a while ago and told my mom we shouldn't sell it coz we don't know its expiry date. (I want to sell only those we bought recently for the store) Then, enter mom's dialogue at the beginning of my lil' story. ^_^
So mom called me to the table, abruptly disturbing my giggling fiasco in front of the TV coz Seiji just saw Midori's naked body... (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! XD) and she shoved a piece of Piattos in my mouth without me noticing so she almost made me choke my guts out and made me real mad. Except for the fact that the snack she actually fed me was really yummy... I forgave her in 2 seconds. XD So anyway, she mixed up a dip made up of white stuff and red stuff, which I guessed was ketchup... And I expected the white stuff to be mayonnaise, but she surprised me by saying it was Nestlé All Purpose Cream. (aww, c'mon!! Am I advertising here!? O_o?) I'm not kidding, I'm not pulling your leg. It was DELICIOUS. If only I had allowance this summer, I'd buy more packs of Piattos and I'd stuff myself with my new discovery till I swear not to eat another bite (for the night, that is XD)... ahh, bliss. ~_~
So, enough about food already... tomorrow is Mother's Day... gosh it rained quite a bit outside and in the house as well... My mom and grandma were arguing since morning, and grandma's stint this afternoon was the last straw. Grandma is... well, gallant... too gallant that it's kinda irritating. One of my parents' godchildren came over this afternoon, I was upstairs then and mom said she was sleeping on the couch. Grandma was outside reading one of mom's StarStudio magazines which she rents for a fee. Well grandma, knowing she's so darn gallant, gave the kid two (pretty expensive) chocolate drinks, without mom's permission. Mom eventually found out and she went ballistic, especially when grandma said it's on her tab. I don't maintain a list of things she takes from the store. I'm not sure if mom does. Grandma doesn't have any money really... Her husband's pension went to other people. Why? She loaned it to them. 5 years ago. And she still hasn't got a single cent back ever since. And that's what I really hated about her. She can be so gullible sometimes. So I can somehow understand why mom gets so irritated. Another reason is her being such a busybody. She's already weakened a great deal, yet she insists she can still stay outdoors for long periods of time, under the searing heat, tending to her plants. On one occasion, I even yelled at her because she wanted me to unlock the front gate so she could water her plants. She said, "My plant is dying!" and I said, "If you keep this up, you'll die before your plant does!!" Now tell me what I did was wrong. Maybe the yelling part was, but the purpose is there. I did it for her own good. Coz the only way to confront a stubborn person is to be equally, if possible, more stubborn than him/her.
This Mother's Day, since I didn't get the chance to go out and find gift items for the 2 generations before me, I guess I'll have to settle for the mushy stuff. Don't get me wrong, I made it a habit not to spend mushy moments with my family, coz I always end up crying. And I hate that. I prefer spending those times with my close friends and my most loved one. ~_~; Hey, anyone got any gift ideas for me? I really, really don't wanna go for the mushy lovey-dovey stuff... I might die of embarrassment. Waaaaah. T_T
*sigh* I wish my grandma be granted a well-functioning, understanding brain... And I wish my mom would learn to be open-minded to the issue of granting me semi-independence... like having a boyfriend. I want her to recognize him... For what he really is to me... And I to him.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone's mothers, and to all the mothers reading this! Minna, ganbatte kudasai! ^o^
5.04.2005
A Sudden Farewell..?
5 hours after watching Midori no Hibi's last episode, "Last Days", it got me thinking: "Can I condense 3 years into 13 days?"
A few days from now... actually, exactly a week from now, Kyle will be leaving for Taiwan. After watching Midori no Hibi (I just finished recording the episode on the laptop for the third time today ^^;), a peculiar thought paid my twisted mind a second visit. I thought of falling into a three-year coma, and accompanying him overseas in Spirit form until the day he returns to the country (where my body would be), or until I feel confident enough to leave him by himself there. Sure, I wouldn't be able to do things with him like Midori was able to with Seiji Sawamura, but seeing him everyday would've been more than enough for poor lil' ol' me. :D *think Yo Asakura with Amidamaru floating beside him*
Like my last entry in "Sentiments on the Marble Floor", I'm still doting over this animé series' storyline. My feelings during my composition time had something to do with how I saw Midori. In my recording, Midori said: "I feel sad. I feel lonely for some reason... I want to feel how I felt before. I want to feel safe... I want to feel like somebody's protecting me. That's how I felt when I was asleep. I want that back!" This series left me feeling so incomplete... Like my heart's being torn apart because I wanted to do something but there's always something keeping me from doing it. First, the people around me who control me... and fears and anxieties in me that I can't get rid of. Or maybe... I'm too afraid to even try..? If only I had someone I know who can act as my Kouta (spelling?)... and stop my parents from hindering my first step into a free life, or at least, a life close enough to what you can call free. In the end, I left myself in thought, wishing one of my other selves knew how to stand up for me at the right time. They have such lousy timing...
If I was grumpy last time, this time around I'm feeling rather forlorn. I believe I may be experiencing the same thing my brother Kenny was lately (he's not my blood relative, mind you). I wish I could seek his counsel now, like he did with me last week. I just know he'd knock some sense into me. Perhaps a word or two would wake me up from this dream state I'm in. But, on the other hand, I never had the heart to ask him... If he's still up to the task of keeping my trail of thoughts straight. Then Mia calmly reminds me: "No prob. You know I'd do anything to help.Ü" That's what he said when I thanked him and apologized for the trouble I caused him. That's when I badly wished I had a brother. His shoulder would've sufficed.
To top off my entry for today... I'd like to describe how I imagined myself this afernoon... after my brain got messed up and I directed my frustration towards yet another innocent bystander.
"I was all curled up, not moving, and eyes shut tight as if trying to erase a horrible thought. Before I realized it, I made myself a cage of tears, and the bird inside was me. As people pass by, I scream for them to help me escape, yet no one understood... for all they heard was the sound of sweet chirps forming up a song. Little did they realize... that the bird inside... was singing its dying song. And as time passed, the bird was long-forgotten. With body turned to ash and blown by the wind, she was finally set free."
Upon thinking over the last line, I suddenly thought: "Would this mean that I can only be truly free in death? The cards must be playing a trick on me." But then again, I knew for myself that more often than not, my "premonitions" in the form of daydreams give a significant meaning. I'm just hoping this is one of those spur-of-the-moment thoughts, and nothing like this would ever have to happen to me.
And, about my last wish in Sentiments... Know what? No one kidnapped me. *pouts*
A few days from now... actually, exactly a week from now, Kyle will be leaving for Taiwan. After watching Midori no Hibi (I just finished recording the episode on the laptop for the third time today ^^;), a peculiar thought paid my twisted mind a second visit. I thought of falling into a three-year coma, and accompanying him overseas in Spirit form until the day he returns to the country (where my body would be), or until I feel confident enough to leave him by himself there. Sure, I wouldn't be able to do things with him like Midori was able to with Seiji Sawamura, but seeing him everyday would've been more than enough for poor lil' ol' me. :D *think Yo Asakura with Amidamaru floating beside him*
Like my last entry in "Sentiments on the Marble Floor", I'm still doting over this animé series' storyline. My feelings during my composition time had something to do with how I saw Midori. In my recording, Midori said: "I feel sad. I feel lonely for some reason... I want to feel how I felt before. I want to feel safe... I want to feel like somebody's protecting me. That's how I felt when I was asleep. I want that back!" This series left me feeling so incomplete... Like my heart's being torn apart because I wanted to do something but there's always something keeping me from doing it. First, the people around me who control me... and fears and anxieties in me that I can't get rid of. Or maybe... I'm too afraid to even try..? If only I had someone I know who can act as my Kouta (spelling?)... and stop my parents from hindering my first step into a free life, or at least, a life close enough to what you can call free. In the end, I left myself in thought, wishing one of my other selves knew how to stand up for me at the right time. They have such lousy timing...
If I was grumpy last time, this time around I'm feeling rather forlorn. I believe I may be experiencing the same thing my brother Kenny was lately (he's not my blood relative, mind you). I wish I could seek his counsel now, like he did with me last week. I just know he'd knock some sense into me. Perhaps a word or two would wake me up from this dream state I'm in. But, on the other hand, I never had the heart to ask him... If he's still up to the task of keeping my trail of thoughts straight. Then Mia calmly reminds me: "No prob. You know I'd do anything to help.Ü" That's what he said when I thanked him and apologized for the trouble I caused him. That's when I badly wished I had a brother. His shoulder would've sufficed.
To top off my entry for today... I'd like to describe how I imagined myself this afernoon... after my brain got messed up and I directed my frustration towards yet another innocent bystander.
"I was all curled up, not moving, and eyes shut tight as if trying to erase a horrible thought. Before I realized it, I made myself a cage of tears, and the bird inside was me. As people pass by, I scream for them to help me escape, yet no one understood... for all they heard was the sound of sweet chirps forming up a song. Little did they realize... that the bird inside... was singing its dying song. And as time passed, the bird was long-forgotten. With body turned to ash and blown by the wind, she was finally set free."
Upon thinking over the last line, I suddenly thought: "Would this mean that I can only be truly free in death? The cards must be playing a trick on me." But then again, I knew for myself that more often than not, my "premonitions" in the form of daydreams give a significant meaning. I'm just hoping this is one of those spur-of-the-moment thoughts, and nothing like this would ever have to happen to me.
And, about my last wish in Sentiments... Know what? No one kidnapped me. *pouts*
4.29.2005
OH MY GOD! O_O;;;
You are the large, round, friendly d20! (You probably didn't know this, but the shape of the twenty-sided die is called an Icosahedron.) You are the friendly, outgoing, outspoken, leader of friends. You are often looked up to, even though you don't normally deserve it. Most other types secretly wish they were you, and you'd give them tips on how, if only you had a clue yourself. Your charisma is often all you need, but you have your occasional moments of brilliance as well--just never when it's actually needed. You are the all-around good guy, a dependable chum, a respectable foe, and an inspiration to those who need one. Who says you can't get by on a smile and good looks alone?
OMG @ the result. I can't believe what result that friggin quiz gave me. *jaw drops to floor*
I just posted it. Haha, 2 posts in one day. A sign of boredom? Naaaaaah. I'm feelin' good for the first time in the last ten hours of my pathetic life. Yipee! =^_^=
By the way... here's a link for a tune i scavenged from Midori no Hibi. I wasn't able to upload the other audio file coz my net connection keeps disconnecting... It's a 1MB+ file. T_T
Sentiments on the Marble Floor
Wtf. Last time i updated this was... when? O_o;;;
Anyway, thought for the day is: "To obey... Or not to obey?" -_-"
I've been faced with this problem since 3 days ago... when I found out about mi hubby's despedida party somewhere FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR from here. It's a territory I have yet to set foot on. *groans* If it was just me, I'd come running, but in my current situation, I'm better off peeling potato skin in a military training base's mess hall. >_<" Come the question of independence. Most people I know say, "For crying out loud! You are 18 years old and look older than that, but your folks still don't let you go outside alone!?" And yes, I end up slapping them silly till they melt to the floor. Not because they insert that friggin' unnecessary comment about me looking old (hey, it's lack of sleep), but because I decided a long time ago that I'd stop complaining about how freaking uptight my parents are. I was born in this family, and I should deal with it. My only wish for almost a decade now was to have a baby brother or a baby sister. Being an only child isn't as pretty as some people make it up to be. After some time, too much attention can squeeze your lungs till you're gasping desperately for air, literally. I know not all only children experience it, but the fact that your parents practically follow your every whim just to keep you from leaving their side is a sick idea.
Despite that last statement, I am not a spoiled brat FYI, even if you ask around. As much as possible, I try to stay away from them (my parents). I can't wait to graduate. THEN I can formally rant against their impossibly strict overprotectiveness. When the heavens rained luck, I guess I was late. Very, very late that I may have caught just a little speck. And that little speck is about to fly away in a week. *hint hint*
My luck was also nowhere visible when I was rushed to the Clinic to get anti-allergy shots for my numerous bumps on my skin, which look like insect bites. It just so happened that after 3 weeks of abstinence from canned food, I was finally allowed to eat sardines. Yay, my kitty food! =^.^= but alas, my favorite food in the whole wide world reacted nastily to my previous anti-rabies shots! Waaaaaaaah!!! T_T
It's in those last two paragraphs that I find the reasons for my grumpiness lately. I even treated a guildmate of mine to my reckless display of arrogance (really sorry Curian, guess I got carried away with my thoughts...). I just wished I could unleash that bad side upon my wardens. That sure would release a LOT of stress.
I really wanna go to that party. Oh PLEASE... Someone kidnap me!!! T_T
Anyway, thought for the day is: "To obey... Or not to obey?" -_-"
I've been faced with this problem since 3 days ago... when I found out about mi hubby's despedida party somewhere FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR from here. It's a territory I have yet to set foot on. *groans* If it was just me, I'd come running, but in my current situation, I'm better off peeling potato skin in a military training base's mess hall. >_<" Come the question of independence. Most people I know say, "For crying out loud! You are 18 years old and look older than that, but your folks still don't let you go outside alone!?" And yes, I end up slapping them silly till they melt to the floor. Not because they insert that friggin' unnecessary comment about me looking old (hey, it's lack of sleep), but because I decided a long time ago that I'd stop complaining about how freaking uptight my parents are. I was born in this family, and I should deal with it. My only wish for almost a decade now was to have a baby brother or a baby sister. Being an only child isn't as pretty as some people make it up to be. After some time, too much attention can squeeze your lungs till you're gasping desperately for air, literally. I know not all only children experience it, but the fact that your parents practically follow your every whim just to keep you from leaving their side is a sick idea.
Despite that last statement, I am not a spoiled brat FYI, even if you ask around. As much as possible, I try to stay away from them (my parents). I can't wait to graduate. THEN I can formally rant against their impossibly strict overprotectiveness. When the heavens rained luck, I guess I was late. Very, very late that I may have caught just a little speck. And that little speck is about to fly away in a week. *hint hint*
My luck was also nowhere visible when I was rushed to the Clinic to get anti-allergy shots for my numerous bumps on my skin, which look like insect bites. It just so happened that after 3 weeks of abstinence from canned food, I was finally allowed to eat sardines. Yay, my kitty food! =^.^= but alas, my favorite food in the whole wide world reacted nastily to my previous anti-rabies shots! Waaaaaaaah!!! T_T
It's in those last two paragraphs that I find the reasons for my grumpiness lately. I even treated a guildmate of mine to my reckless display of arrogance (really sorry Curian, guess I got carried away with my thoughts...). I just wished I could unleash that bad side upon my wardens. That sure would release a LOT of stress.
I really wanna go to that party. Oh PLEASE... Someone kidnap me!!! T_T
3.26.2005
What's next? I fall from the 3rd floor head first?
"I knew I shoudn't have eaten chocolate for my midnight dessert."
And the dog should be sent to the neighbor's house for barbecue. Curse him for mistaking my poor right thumb for an appetizer.. T_T" good thing I'm left-handed. I'm feeling a bit shaky and the thumb's all hot and I'm waiting to get carried out and away from this hellhole of a house. >_< Holy Week's never been this boring. That bite sure did the trick though, now I have something to get preoccupied with. ^_^ but wait, there's the consequences. But i tend to lean more on the bright side of things for me... If ever I get hospitalized, my ever-so-looooooooooong-distance boyfriend just might take the chance to legally visit me in the hospital. And aside from that, I just might skip Finals Week in school! Yay! XD
Back to the issue of my boyfriend, *groans miserably* just the night before we talked and then here we are again... It truly frustrates me that he'd just stop midway in our conversation via SMS without a word while I sit back and wait for his next reply... Can you imagine waiting for the sunset to actually RISE? Well, it may not be that extreme, i was just exaggerating. ^^; To put it in a simpler context, you'd stay up late each night just to see if he still has anything to say to you, like maybe a sweet good night or a reminder or whatever.. Nothing, nada. Just leave you there. And I've been doing that for 2 weeks now. And way back before. On and off. Now you tell me you can endure that. Even if you can I can't take it anymore! =.="
So i decided, this would be a great chance to knack his brain cells... ^^ and i texted him: "I was trying to see how you'd react to me ignoring you. But i thought you oughta know, my dog just bit me. Look for symptoms on the net." And within 3 minutes, voila! A call. And he was talking to me like I'm some stupid kid being reprimanded by the neighbor coz I stole one of his precious china or something, and he seemed to look like your regular old balding neighborhood grouch. Or at least, I wanted to imagine him that way. XD
It was funny while it lasted. I missed his voice, although I know I just talked to him the night before. I even got scolded for giggling in the middle of the night. >_< Maybe I just feel lovesick. A lovesick puppy. Oh wait, i forgot I'm supposed to be a N-E-K-O. A cat. A doggone crazy cat. What the... Uhh... ok, a crazy young feline. So in other words, a kitten looking for her Friskies.
*sigh* And maybe I just need more load for my cellphone. I'm getting bored just sitting around trying to study when my rebellious brain insists on playing PC games. Sorry hon, we just ran out of internet load. And this crappy laptop's sending out private info via our resident Trojans, worms, etcetera everytime we connect to the Net. Do you want my secrets to go out to the world?? Oh wait.. on second thought, I remembered Blogging was the first step to that. XD
I think that dog bite's starting to get to me. Coz now I just remembered something. Maybe I AM starting to evolve into a more feline specie than a human. Why else would my dog bite me? Hahaha. *sarcastic meow*
*After 3 hours*
Yah i just came back from the doc. Got 5 shots, darnit. As if one wasn't painful enough. >_<
If only i wasn't a dog lover, I would've skinned my own dog alive. Gaaaah! *vein pops out of forehead*
And the dog should be sent to the neighbor's house for barbecue. Curse him for mistaking my poor right thumb for an appetizer.. T_T" good thing I'm left-handed. I'm feeling a bit shaky and the thumb's all hot and I'm waiting to get carried out and away from this hellhole of a house. >_< Holy Week's never been this boring. That bite sure did the trick though, now I have something to get preoccupied with. ^_^ but wait, there's the consequences. But i tend to lean more on the bright side of things for me... If ever I get hospitalized, my ever-so-looooooooooong-distance boyfriend just might take the chance to legally visit me in the hospital. And aside from that, I just might skip Finals Week in school! Yay! XD
Back to the issue of my boyfriend, *groans miserably* just the night before we talked and then here we are again... It truly frustrates me that he'd just stop midway in our conversation via SMS without a word while I sit back and wait for his next reply... Can you imagine waiting for the sunset to actually RISE? Well, it may not be that extreme, i was just exaggerating. ^^; To put it in a simpler context, you'd stay up late each night just to see if he still has anything to say to you, like maybe a sweet good night or a reminder or whatever.. Nothing, nada. Just leave you there. And I've been doing that for 2 weeks now. And way back before. On and off. Now you tell me you can endure that. Even if you can I can't take it anymore! =.="
So i decided, this would be a great chance to knack his brain cells... ^^ and i texted him: "I was trying to see how you'd react to me ignoring you. But i thought you oughta know, my dog just bit me. Look for symptoms on the net." And within 3 minutes, voila! A call. And he was talking to me like I'm some stupid kid being reprimanded by the neighbor coz I stole one of his precious china or something, and he seemed to look like your regular old balding neighborhood grouch. Or at least, I wanted to imagine him that way. XD
It was funny while it lasted. I missed his voice, although I know I just talked to him the night before. I even got scolded for giggling in the middle of the night. >_< Maybe I just feel lovesick. A lovesick puppy. Oh wait, i forgot I'm supposed to be a N-E-K-O. A cat. A doggone crazy cat. What the... Uhh... ok, a crazy young feline. So in other words, a kitten looking for her Friskies.
*sigh* And maybe I just need more load for my cellphone. I'm getting bored just sitting around trying to study when my rebellious brain insists on playing PC games. Sorry hon, we just ran out of internet load. And this crappy laptop's sending out private info via our resident Trojans, worms, etcetera everytime we connect to the Net. Do you want my secrets to go out to the world?? Oh wait.. on second thought, I remembered Blogging was the first step to that. XD
I think that dog bite's starting to get to me. Coz now I just remembered something. Maybe I AM starting to evolve into a more feline specie than a human. Why else would my dog bite me? Hahaha. *sarcastic meow*
*After 3 hours*
Yah i just came back from the doc. Got 5 shots, darnit. As if one wasn't painful enough. >_<
If only i wasn't a dog lover, I would've skinned my own dog alive. Gaaaah! *vein pops out of forehead*
3.25.2005
Why can't I do anything right today?
"Perhaps asking this stupid question might help a bit.." whispers my unknowing brain.
I've been quite disoriented for a long time now... if you consider two weeks long. It'll be longer once he leaves the country. Maybe having a partner isn't as great as we make it up to be. Things such as this don't have to affect other people in the same way. So why in friggin' hell am I actin' like such a weenie?! >_<
Maybe a year of exposure to the virus made me vulnerable... yeah, that's it. I just lack nutrients. Life's nutrients. I don't know if there's a doctor out there who can cure me. *sigh* Maybe... just maybe... if I didn't make myself appear too susceptible to the virus in the first place, this all wouldn't have happened and I'm still trotting away, living a normal life like I used to for the past what? ...17 and a half years!?
They say life has its ups and downs. Why in the name of all that is existing am I always experiencing the downs lately? I feel so stumped on this. To prove this, you'll probably see me staring off into empty space every now and then, even so, more than usual. If you happen to notice me and actually ask how I'm doing, I just might burst into tears so it's better you leave me be.
"No man is an island"... aww, to hell with it... in this case I think it's better if people would leave me to myself for a while... a very long while..
Maybe I just need recollecting. I'm having too much Short Term Memory Loss lately. I even forget to bring money. Thank you Lord for giving me a nice old Lunchlady who can treat me to meals every now and then.
Someone catch my fall... or make it less painful.
*nice start for a blog huh.. this is actually my 3rd blog. I abandoned the first 2. XD*
I've been quite disoriented for a long time now... if you consider two weeks long. It'll be longer once he leaves the country. Maybe having a partner isn't as great as we make it up to be. Things such as this don't have to affect other people in the same way. So why in friggin' hell am I actin' like such a weenie?! >_<
Maybe a year of exposure to the virus made me vulnerable... yeah, that's it. I just lack nutrients. Life's nutrients. I don't know if there's a doctor out there who can cure me. *sigh* Maybe... just maybe... if I didn't make myself appear too susceptible to the virus in the first place, this all wouldn't have happened and I'm still trotting away, living a normal life like I used to for the past what? ...17 and a half years!?
They say life has its ups and downs. Why in the name of all that is existing am I always experiencing the downs lately? I feel so stumped on this. To prove this, you'll probably see me staring off into empty space every now and then, even so, more than usual. If you happen to notice me and actually ask how I'm doing, I just might burst into tears so it's better you leave me be.
"No man is an island"... aww, to hell with it... in this case I think it's better if people would leave me to myself for a while... a very long while..
Maybe I just need recollecting. I'm having too much Short Term Memory Loss lately. I even forget to bring money. Thank you Lord for giving me a nice old Lunchlady who can treat me to meals every now and then.
Someone catch my fall... or make it less painful.
*nice start for a blog huh.. this is actually my 3rd blog. I abandoned the first 2. XD*
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